Loving Marcello

Chapter Six

This song isnt for everyone, but for those of you who can get into it: are you okay? Like emotionally?

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I wake up feeling a lot better than usual for some reason. I have no difficulty opening my eyes as I wiggle in my unnaturally comfy bed. Is it usually this soft? The embrace of the bed doesn't seem humanly possible, yet here I am, laying beneath a sea of silky blankets and comforters.

I grin once I realized that I'm not in my room. I'm in a hotel. In Rome. Away from any negative feelings and memories.

I sigh, turning over in the bed, the sensation has me sighing again. This is absolutely wonderful.

I frown when I realize I slept in. It's already 10 am.

I climb out of bed, somewhat making it back up, and stumbling to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I catch sight of my appearance in the mirror, and I almost don't recognize myself.

Who is this happy woman standing in front of me? Definitely not someone I recognize. Her light brown hair may be sticking in every direction unattractively, but her smile is wide and her dimples are showing off more than usual. Her blue eyes shine with a newfound excitement and so much hope, as well as the color in her normally-pale cheeks seems to brighten her whole complexion.

I didn't think it's possible for me to be this happy ever again after what happened, yet here I am.

After brushing my teeth, I run a brush through my hair and curl it into soft waves that shape my face. I've never liked my hair long, so it's always taken position of sitting on my shoulders, so it's quite easy to fix up.

Not feeling in the mood to do my makeup, I leave it alone and move to pick my outfit.

After checking the weather and figuring out it's going to be nice and warm today, I settle on a sundress that falls just below my knees with swirling flowers decorating the bottom in a soft yellow pattern with a white background.

I've never worn this dress, despite having it for a year or so. I've just never had the confidence to wear it, due to my thick frame. I've been told over and over again that I'm not fat, but that was Derek telling me, and we all know he's a liar.

But today, I feel more bold than usual.

I'm starting to see myself in a new light. It isn't bad that I have a little extra chunkiness than what society says is normal.

I've always hated society telling me what to do and how to look. Telling us to be different, but criticizing us when we are. Giving us roles to be eye candy, which only traps us. That's what deprives us and suppresses who we are. Society. But fuck society, it can kiss my ass.

Even saying that, I can't help but to have a negative view on my body. I've always wanted to be considered pretty and to have that privelage.

Though my weight is at 178 pounds, I try to convince myself that it isn't as bad as it seems, but I'm only lying to myself.

[178 pounds is 80 kg]

Some girls make the chunkiness look good, but it seems that I have curves in all the wrong places. I snort at myself. I shouldn't be thinking about my body while I'm here. No negative thoughts.

Only positive.

With that, I skip out of the hotel room, snatching my purse before I exit the door and make sure I have the keycard.

I approach the main counter, seeing a different girl than last night. This time, I take the time to study the woman, who sports dark brown curls, a dark complexion, and a round face.

"Hello." I begin, testing to see if she knew English.

Her face lights up. "Good morning, madam, are you enjoying your stay here?" She asks cheerily.

I beam, relieved that I won't have to awkwardly translate through my phone again. "Oh, yeah. It's absolutely stunning!" I exclaim happily, "I was actually wondering if you had any maps of the city?" I ask hopefully.

"Of course! Here you are, ma'am." Her accent rolls from her mouth beautifully as she hands me a brochure thingy.

"Thank you!" I give her one last wide smile before skipping out of the hotel, opening the folded paper.

Before getting far from the hotel, I run into something hard.

Of course. It was just my luck to run into a freaking wall.

Just as I'm about to hit the ground due to the impact of running into the stupid bricks, someone from behind catches me.

I rub my head as the person steadied me.

"Did you...did you just run into a wall?" The tall man asks, seeming genuinely confused, his accent rolling off his tongue flawlessly, and I find myself melting.

The voice causes my body to react embarrassingly. I shiver a bit, but then I realize that the voice is one I've heard before.

I look up to meet the familiar eyes of the guy from the plane.

"I don't know, did I?" I ask innocently.

He blinks at me blankly, then a look of pure amusement finds its way to his face. Even though he isn't smiling, it's obvious he finds the situation funny. Somehow, his eyes explain that very loud and clear.

I scowl, glaring him down, "It's not funny."

"I didn't say it was." He replies.

"You didn't have to." I roll my eyes, still rubbing my head.

"Are you okay?" He asks, actually looking concerned now.

"Why do you care?" I swat his hand away as he tries to pry mine from my forehead to see the bump.

His eyes harden and any teasing amusement or concern leaves his face to create an emotionless mask, "If that's how you're going to act, then I guess I shouldn't care."

"You shouldn't care anyway. I'm not worth it." I spit out, but immediately regret it. "Wait, that didn't sound right. I am worth it, just not to you. Wait, that didn't sound right either-"

"Stop." He cuts me off, and I look up to see him looking at me like I'm crazy. "What are you even talking about?"

"Don't ask me, I have no clue." I reply, holding my hands up in an exaggerated shrug.

"You're the one saying it, you should know." He argues.

"Just because I'm the one saying it, doesn't mean I know what I'm talking about." I fire back.

"But...you're the one...saying it..." He says, seeming confused.

"But I don't know..." I say slowly, trying to get him to understand.

He shakes his head, "I don't have time for this." He rushes past me, and I let him.

Let him go, he's a jerk anyway.