Rhea's POV
I didn't know what to think when Jordan Jaksen snuck into the library after being thrown out for singing All Star by Smashmouth.
I never agreed with the Librarians unfair treatment of their group. Although it did allow for such entertaining stunts to occur.
Her sexuality isn't a secret. Personally I was happy for her, why wouldn't I be? Imagine having to hide who you truly are because society says, 'That's immoral'.
Screw that.
It was an average free period when she came in, I was halfway of a queer Buzzfeed video hidden in the corner to ensure I wasn't disturbed. She caught my eye, holding a finger to her lips indicating I stay quiet, I oblige willingly.
That moment alone made me reflect on my sexual attraction. Girls are in the habit of comparing themselves to others but at what point does comparing become staring?
Jordan was cute, adding to her whole tomboy image which I must admit is my favourite thing about her even though we've only ever talked in passing.
Sure I find greater comfort in the company of girls compared to boys but that's how all females feel, right? This was confirmed at Enrapture today, when I helped her to stand, poking fun at Jayden. It felt easy. Natural.
Maybe I'm just kidding myself. I've had a few boyfriends in those lowkey, not serious relationships and they all end the same. Loss of initial spark, downfall of romance, break up, hate him for life.
The perfect recipe for disaster but is it because they're not my type?
At lunch she made me laugh without trying, "I never knew you were one for classic rock, Jordan." I said proud of the fact she chuckles nervously and returns to her food. It was adorable.
Does that make me gay? How am I supposed to know? Why can't there be a gay-stick that glows rainbow if you are and black and white if you aren't?
I wish there was a distinct difference between gays and straights, even if it meant that they sneezed glitter. Maybe the gaydar is real and mine's just spinning wild everytime Jordan's nearby making me question myself.
"You alright, Rhea?" Aiswarya leans back on her knees catching her balance before she falls back. "Yeah, I'm good, why you ask?" Her opportunity to reply is interrupted by Natasha whose thunderous clap draws all heads to her thin frame.
Finger novelty glasses resting on the hem of her collar, drag the fabric down as she paces, "Lunch is over people, places." She sings operatically.
We line up in previously established spots. Five people per line, six lines in total. "Alright," she rests her hands on barely visible hips, "for this exercise, we want you to challenge yourself." Everyone becomes rigid fearing another ridiculous round of cardio circuit exercises.
She notices this, quick to raise her hands defensively and reassure us, "Oh no, not physical exercises, acting exercises." A unanimous 'Oh thank God' echoes in the muggy hall, many occupants fan themselves with their sweat drenched shirts.
Clap, clap, "Ok, pair up, chop chop." She waves flamboyant hands in a shooing motion.
Instinctively pairs are formed among familiar peers, Jordan with Jayden while I'm with Aiswarya whom I'm closer to than Lisa whose a bit too moody for my liking.
"Now I want you to stare into your partners eyes." We wait for further instruction which never comes.
"That's it?" Daniel pipes up, scratching his dirty blonde hair.
Unspoken rite of passage into Enrapture Drama meant everyone had to despise him on some level. He is everything you hate in the world... in one person. "That's it, Felix."
"Ok." I stare into Aiswarya's eyes but my mind is elsewhere, still wondering in the depths of my sexuality.
Is that why I never went beyond coping a feel when it came to guys? For some reason I'm starting to feel physically sick, probably a combination of overthinking and the putrid smell of unhygienic body odour.
I've never considered the prospect of my sexuality as anything but straight. "This feels so awkward." Aiswarya keeps blinking, standing pigeon toed less than a step away. "I know right?" I say discouragingly.
"Try to be silent while you do this." I catch Natasha's eyes, ducking back to the activity.
The next two minutes are spent in suspenseful silence, anticipating dismissal. "Times up, now find a new face you're not familiar with and do the same thing." She is enjoying this way too much, matchmaking random pairs.
Now Lisa is with Jayden, Daniel and Aiswarya make two which leaves..."Jordan you can go with Rhea."
At those words my heart jolts above normal heart rate. She walks toward me in a clearing of bodies, damp hair clinging to her sweaty skin. "Long time no see." I wish I didn't drawl my words, it's an unfortunate habit of mine.
"I know right? I was beginning to forget what you look like." I laugh through my nose.
She straightens her back diving straight into the activity. "I love your eyes." I blurt out admiring the gradient in her iris, transitioning from dark blue-ish green then lightening to a yellow ring around the pupil.
"Thanks but they're no where near as clear as yours." The singular comment makes me fight a beaming smile trying to curl my lips.
"I can't wait till this ends." She whispers out her mouth side to avoid detection.
"Definitely." I agree, counting the freckles on her button nose. Maybe I should confide in her, you know, girl to girl. Casually ask her how she knew. Yeah, why not? Here goes—
"Times up. That's all for today, we'll see you lovely's tomorrow same time, same place. Mwah." Natasha blows us each an air kiss.
Jordan flees to her rightful place at Jayden's side, slinging a backpack over one shoulder
Damn. I'm such a chicken.
YOU ARE READING
Chapstick Boi
Teen FictionMeet Spooky or more commonly known as, 'the over involved Lesbian', 'Spooky scary skeletons' and 'JJ'. Doesn't matter what you call her, she's still gay. You've heard all those stories surrounding closeted gays who suffer in silence, hiding their se...
