Everytime I Look At You, I Smile

To my first love at first sight: #1

It wasn't really the first letter he read, It was more like the beginning of how their love grew into a spark.

But somehow, their love went wrong in such a hopeless place.

Little did he know, He didn't notice on the back of the envelope, it was marked "#0' at the top left corner which showed it wasn't the start of everything how their love story began. It was the letter which shows the same dream he had an argument with the man who pleaded for his apology.

"I don't understand, how is this possible?' He asked himself.

"Why am I dreaming about this? Do dreams really happen where it magically happens?'

He mockingly laughs at himself, denying it wasn't supposed to happen as he read another letter marked "#1" at the back of the envelope.

~***~

Dear Jin,

Back when I was a high school student, long before I met you.

I used to think love is a game where I simply make Matchmaking sessions with my friends that we usually do to make girls fall in love with a guy. It was fun and sometimes my friends put me on the bet where I make the girls fall in love with a guy who has a sexy brain, remarkably intelligent with cute dimples.

Of course, the girls not only fall for that, but they also fall for my looks instead of loving me for who I am.

For months, I have been dating a lot of girls and end up hurting their feelings or they ended up hurting my feelings, I have come to realize a definition of love and relationships.

Love is about care, acknowledging your quirks and faults. It is an affection that unites couples with fond, care and tender that brings such happiness in between.

Relationships are like having a soulmate to find a perfect match and a person who would stick with you forever till the bitter end.

Among all the girls in my school, they don't reach my standards or so as I say my expectations no matter if is a girl or a guy.

They think I am an easy person to have a relationship, they set their expectations in such insolent and ridiculous ways that I play their feelings in return.

Or I simply let the girls fall for the other guys instead of me because I felt bad, it takes time for them to heal because Love can be a bitch sometimes.

Believe me, I've been there.

I did try and it worked quite well.

For a long period of time, the longer I continued, the more I get lonely in the inside but strive to keep a smile on my face. Loving yourself is easy but loving someone else isn't.

It is a waste of time.

Until you came in.

You were a transfer student.

The equivalent amount of girls falling for you seemed to match the numbers they fall for me.

If I were to compare our visuals and looks

You were gorgeously handsome than me.

Even if you casually took a stroll on the hallways, I couldn't stop staring at you.

But I don't really believe in love at first sight. The reason was...

Well,

To put it simply, you might as well be catfished by its person whom you fall for.

If that's what the girls think about me, I'd say their temptations need to be blacklisted.

That's why you looked at me weirdly like I'm judging you from head to toe. To show you that I didn't really fall for you just because of your looks.

To show you that you made quite a good impression on me that makes me feel like I'm interested in you.

Honestly, you have quite a charm not just girls but for guys as well. Not all the guys are attracted to men, except me because you just made me want to fall for a guy like you.

And yet, I felt hesitant whether I should believe such theory bout Love at first sight...

Because of you...

I feel a faint spark in me whenever I see you.

With Love,

Joonie