Dear Kim Seokjin,
Your voice haunts me onto this day as I write this letter for forgiveness. I admit it I couldn't forgive myself as I wasn't able to think straight till this day forward. I have missed your sweet embrace, your sweet mellowed voice, your dad jokes, your quirky side and your angelic voice that rocks my mind in a bliss.
I remembered the day on the talent show when your presence has brought the hearts of the women and the teachers as you entered the stage. Your prince charming shined the whole stage as stood there, the spotlight shines upon. You started to sing, I never thought you have such a beautiful voice, like a canary chirping his notes in an angelic tone, like an angel blessing everyone. You do capture my heart but I dared not show anyone since It would be gay as I'll be easily judged. While you were singing, I left my seat as I went to the toilet.
I reflected myself in the bathroom, asking myself if I was good enough to realise what I wanted to be. All my life, I've been composing songs as a part of my hobby, I never know how to sing nor I could dance, my talent has always been dedicated to rapping. I've been rapping since when I was just a child, writing lyrics on my own, being all poetical, like Shakespeare rapping out his poems. Sure everyone respected me, but I always feel like I am not good enough. I will never know how does it make me a future career, I loved music my whole life and I feel like an incompetent person. I felt useless because what's the point of my rapping out my lyrics when I do not know how to sing.
Sometim I feel like we could do a collab together someday and make wonderful music together, I doubt it would ever happen throughout our whole life. I felt like I was jealous of your beautiful talent of yours, your looks and your charms. I denied myself that my music would bring attention because none of them appreciates my own music because they only emphasise on other idols appearance and their voice but they lack attention when it comes to music.
No one appreciates my music, not even my friends as they always focus on girls, abs, workout, k-dramas, anime and dreaming about being a kpop idol. For me, myself, I would love to get a job that involves my passion, at the same time working on something that brings me the benefit.
Do you feel me?
Maybe not, but your voice really do captures my attention because your voice really does have my taste in music. After hearing your voice, I used different elements for making my own music. And I realised, it stood out from the others that I make them all over again. I let my best friend listen to my own music, he told me it was much better than the rest as he went completely shocked.
Thanks to your beautiful voice, It made me realise that it was never too late to make changes and let everyone know to listen to my own creation of my music. I really wanted to thank you in person but you bombarded with a lot of girls around you as I dared myself not to step closer to speak up, especially I could see you from a far distance as I pick up my things in the locker, getting ready for the next class.
Because what if not many people would like my music as I atone this as a part of my new creation? That is why I felt agitated, as I caught your eyes looking at me that adds up to your concern.
My thoughts also told me,
Maybe someday we could do a collab together, If only I had befriended you in the beginning, We could've been best friends already. Sadly, my friends need me for our usual hangout.
It's like I've been dragged like a slave that I couldn't even say a word to you and sometimes I have a tendency to have anxiety attacks as I was born prematurely as well. I have been like this because I wasn't able to contact you nor talk to you.
Maybe someday we could be together and make wonderful memories together and create music, but here's a problem. I have trust issues as well.
If I give you my composition, then maybe...
Would you like to sing for me?
Joonie
YOU ARE READING
Everytime I Look At You, I Smile
عاطفيةAfter a long year of his absence, Kim Seokjin's memories went on a haze not knowing what happened until he found a parcel filled with letters and small gifts. "Dear Kim Seokjin,' It was from his boyfriend whom was nowhere to be found.
