So its been a few weeks ive move in with tristan me and jonah are still good . And its just been a good few weeks especially now I'm with kayla cuz we can be stupid together and all that . And me tristan have been filming for a show on youtube called boss cheer and its been fun
Kayla : good morning
Tegan : morning
Kai : morning
He yells
Kayla : dude shut up
Kai : sorry
Tristan : yo what up
Tegan : the sky
Tristan : haha funny
Tegan : just saying what u say to me
Kayla : and me
Tristan : what ever
Kai : so what are u guys doing
Kayla : chilling
Tegan : seeing jonah he goes on tour tomrrow
Tristan : i don't know yet
Tegan : im gonna go
Kayla : gonna love and miss u
Tegan : and u see u later
Tristan : see u
I get my stuff and i walk out the door and i drive to jonahs
Jonah : hey
He comes over and gives me a hug and he tryes to kiss me but i move my head
Jonah : why did u doge my kiss
Tegan : some thibg i need to tell u
Jonah : good or bad
Tegan : i don't know depends
Jonah : ok just tell me
Tegan : im pregante
U can see the shock on his face and ge walks away sitting down and putting his hands throw his hair
Jonah : when did u find out
Tegan : yesterday but um there's also some thing else
Jonah ; what is it
Tegan ; im going to get an abortion
Jonah : what no u can't
Tegan : jonah i can't go throw anyther miscarriage . It killed me both times its happend
Jonah ; i know i saw but isent it worth trying
Tegan : i can't
Jonah : i swear if u get an abortion we are over because that baby is mine aswell as yours its my blood aswell
I take a big breath in and i can feel the tears coming
Tegan : then i guess were over
Jonah : get out
Tegan : im sorry jonah
I walk out the door and i go to my car and i sit in there for ages just balling my eyes out . I know its horrible what im doing but he saw the pain i was in when i lost the baby . I get my phone and i message him
Tegan : im sorry for what im doing and i hope one day u will be able to forgive me . Maybe not get back together but possible friends but if not then i totally understand . But u are always going to mean some thing to me u were my first ever love . Xx
I put my phone away and i drive back home
Kayla ; your home early
Tegan : yh i forgot i had do something here
Kayla ; ok
Tegan : im going to my room
Tristan : u ok
Tegan : yh fine
I walk upstairs into my room and i start taking down the pictures of me and jonah . And putting them in box for memory and i feel so much pain i may have lost the love of my life . And its all my fault i lay down in bed and i start crying even more . And my phone starts ringing and its Corbyn
Corbyn : jonahs upset i think he may want u
Tegan : im sure im the last person he wants to see
Corbyn : whats happend
Tegan : we broke up
Corbyn : what why
Tegan : id rather not say if anything its up to Jonah to tell u
Corbyn : hes not going to say hes in a state .
Tegan ; give him time just tell him im sorry and that i love
Corbyn : Walt I'm just going to ask did u cheat
Tegan : no i would never do that
Corbyn : please tell me just so me and the boys know how to make him happy
Tegan : i don't want sorry
I hang up and i put my phone down and as soon as i do that it starts ringing again . And this time its Christina
Tegan : yes
Christina : u and jonah exsaplin now before i catch the next flight to LA and beat your ass
Tegan : we broke up
Christina : why and u better tell me because im not joking about the whole flight thing
Tegan : im pregante but getting an abortion
Christina : Jesus ever heard of the pill and condom
Tegan : pill makes me ill and me and jonah had a few spontaneous moments
Christina : are u getting an abortion because if what's happend the last 2 times
Tegan : yh Christina i just can't go throw anyther miscarriage its almost killed me
Christina : i understand
Tegan : i feel awful doing it and hurting jonah but if i keep it and some thing happens it will kill me .
Christina : i know have u booked the abortion
Tegan ; clink tomrrow
Christina : who knows
Tegan : me the doctors u and jonah
Christina : whos going to pick u up because someone dose
Tegan : me and tristan are close so I'm going to ask him
Christina : ok
Tegan ; im an awful person doing this and i feel so sorry for Jonah we were in such a good place . And i go rewin why i am so such a fuck up to life
Christina ; your not a fuck up your far from it and for once your putting yourself first . Don't feel bad and please don't do anything stupid
Tegan ; i won't
Christina : love u
Tegan ; u to
I hang up and i put my phone on silent and i just lay there for hours watching as day turns to night
Tristan : tesals
I sit up
Tegan : yh
Tristan : u eating with us
Tegan : not hungry
Tristan : woah what habe u done to your room
Tegan : just gave it a clear
Tristan : ok so what's wrong
Tegan : what are u doing tomrrow
Tristan : nothing
Tegan : at 12 can u pick me up from the abortion clink
Tristan ; your pregante
Tegan : yh
Tristan ; no wonder your upset
Tegan : can u pick me up
Tristan : yh but is abortion good
Tegan : i don't like it but its what i need to do
He doesn't know about the past
Tristan : ok
Tegan : thank u
Tristan ; so i also come in here to ask if u would come to Ireland with me and my family . No one else would come
Tegan ; when
Tristan : next week
Tegan ; sure maybe getting away will do me good
Tristan : i agree now im going to book your ticket
Tegan : i can do it
Tristan ; no i am now rest up u got a big day tomrrow
Tegan ; ok
The rest of then evening i chilled amd cryed
