Becoming

The Present

Hello loves!

How was everyone's week? What was the best part? And how are you all doing?? As always, I hope everything has been going swimmingly for each and every single one of you and that you're all doing super great 💛

This week has been weird to say the least 😂 I don't know really what to think of it to be honest and I cannot seem to pick an adjective to describe it. There were so many things that happened...yet nothing happened. We did so much in school...yet we really didn't do anything. There wasn't any drama...yet there was. You see what I mean? 😂 Maybe not. I don't know, I'm a little odd. My week could be described as one adjective that means one thing and then as an antonym of that same adjective 😂 If that makes any sense whatsoever. But hey—life doesn't really ever make a whole lot of sense so I guess this means that I am alive 😂

A lot has happened within the span of two weeks, but unlike last time, in which I took up probably an hour of your time so you could read my 5,000 plus word rant about every single thing that happened during my week, I'm just going to talk about what's been on my mind lately and the memories I made that I will likely not forget.

So, I have been really deep in thought lately. I've been thinking a lot about moments. Maybe it's because I am a writer and deep thinker, or perhaps it's all because of the simple fact that I am just months away from being in my last year of high school. But either way I am thinking...and thinking a lot. I keep looking at the people in my class, my friends—the people I've grown with for what seems eons, and I get this sudden realization that we're almost adults...and then it fades away and back into misbelief. I feel overwhelming feelings of pride and sorrow...and this usually occurs in US History. Now, in this class we have tons of discussions that, in most cases, last at least half an hour if we're pressed for time. They are super deep, hard, complex, and philosophical conversations that are sometimes about politics, sometimes about the world today, and even sometimes about human nature. It usually seems to be a "random" topic brought up that maybe connects to the lesson or to an article a student brought in, but regardless, we get going on the subject and we as a class talk about it for almost the entire period.

Being as I, as I've said before, don't typically speak up in class because I learn better by soaking in the information rather than spitting it out, I normally just watch these discussions take place, observing how my classmates articulate their thoughts and the interactions and points made between my fellow students. And because I watch and listen to these conversations intently, I cannot help but feel such strong bittersweetness.

I look into the faces of some of them as they speak and I am immediately reminded of how far we've come. I've known some of these people since middle school for goodness sake! I remember the immaturity we all shared and the stupid jokes we threw around. The lunch periods where my friends and I would bring our lunches to the basketball court and sit on the bleachers to watch the boys mess around with the ball before we'd jump in and play knockout as well. I remember before computer lab where we'd share cheddar cheese Ruffles...or when Peter Pan and Tiana got me to try a lime flavored hot Cheeto and I nearly died from the spice 😂 I remember how we'd all take turns distracting our dull history teacher with Star Wars and get him on a rabbit trail so we wouldn't have to work. I remember the emails we all sent each other back and forth and the quizzes we made on Google Forms to give each other for fun 😂 I remember it all—the weirdness, immaturity, the innocence, and the simplicity of that time.

And I look at us now and I'm so incredibly proud. We've grown so much and flourished into absolutely amazing people who have a completely unique bond. We've still got that weirdness and a different level of immaturity, but we have become so much more. We are people of character, we're deep thinkers, we're reliable, we're confident, we're strong, we're intelligent, we're creative...and we're almost all grown up. I look at these classmates of mine and I cannot help but smile and feel exceedingly proud to be apart of the generation with these people.