Desire - ATEEZ Mingi

29

Yeeun's POV

I was so proud of Mingi. I could see how hard he was trying to become a better boyfriend. He'd taken some major steps in the right direction in just a matter of days.

And even though he didn't technically say it, I was almost certain he was going to let me actually interact with people now. That was huge. A year ago, he was tearing all of my friends away from me. Now, he was giving me a chance to earn those friends back.

Sitting at home after school that day, I couldn't help but smile to myself. All of a sudden, life seemed so good. I confronted my dad, Mingi was getting better, and now, I actually had a chance at a friendship with Soyeon.

However, I doubted I'd ever be able to win back any of my others friends. A year ago, Mingi forced me to start spending all of my time with him instead of them. He thought I would snitch on him to my friends, so he made sure I had no contact with them. One by one, they gave up on me.

I sighed, thinking about that awful time in my life. Never had I felt so alone. Mingi had changed into a completely different person and my friends all left me to fend for myself. Not that they knew what was going on, but still. It would have been nice to have some friends that I could escape to when Mingi wasn't around.

Shaking my head, I reminded myself that that was all in the past. There was nothing I could do about it now. Sure, every now and then, I miss my old friends. But over the past year, I've learned to deal with it.

Besides, I had a fresh start on life now. That was all that mattered. Not the past.

I stepped into the library, 2 textbooks, 2 notebooks, and a pencil in hand. Choosing an empty table, I sat down and got right to work on my late homework.

A part of me was beginning to regret my decision to run away. Being absent from school for a whole week was really biting me in the butt. I had a ton of homework to catch up on.

"Hey," a familiar voice spoke as I worked on my nine-page history packet. Relieved to have an excuse for a break, I looked up and found Soyeon standing on the opposite side of the table.

"Hey," I replied, giving her a kind smile as she moved a strand of brown, curly hair out of her face. "What's up?"

Suddenly, it was like her whole demeanor changed as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She looked uncomfortable and a little anxious.

"Um, can I talk to you for a minute?" Soyeon asked, sounding nervous. I furrowed my eyebrows, but nodded. "Sure." Slowly, she set her books down and took the seat on the opposite side of the table. I pushed my homework off to the side and leaned forward in my seat, giving her my full, undivided attention.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, slightly concerned about her nervous behavior. She looked at me, nervousness no longer in her eyes. Instead, sympathy clouded her emerald green eyes. "I'm not really sure." She said. Now, I was nothing but confused. "Um, I kind of...overheard you and Mingi talking the other day, you know, when he asked me to leave," she began. I leaned forward a bit more, intrigued and confused at the same time. "Okay." I replied, beckoning for her to continue.

She took a deep breath. "Well, I uh--I heard you tell him not to hurt you and then I heard him say that he didn't want you telling anyone about that past and what he'd done to you." My breathing hitched in my throat.

"Yeeun," Soyeon continued, her tone of voice changing to a softer, empathetic one. "Did Mingi hurt you?" I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I had no clue what how to respond to her question. All I could think about was Mingi and imagining how he would react if he found out that Soyeon knew.

"I-I..."I stuttered, my heart pounding, my hands clammy, my mind racing. "I have to go." I said, quickly standing up and gathering my books together.

"Yeeun , wait," Soyeon said, standing up and swiftly grabbing my arm to pull me to a stop. "If Mingi's hurting you, I want to help you. You shouldn't have to be put through that."

I shook my head repeatedly. "I'm fine. W-we're fine now. Everything's okay," I tried to assure her, but she didn't buy it. "Yeeun, please," she pleaded. "I can help you. We can go to a counselor or the police."

My eyes widened. "No. I don't need anyone's help, Soyeon. Especially not the police's." I said firmly, horrified by the thought of Mingi being taken away in handcuffs.

"Yeeun, you can't keep letting him hurt you," she pursued. I sighed, dropping my books onto the table and pressing my hands against it, leaning towards Soyeon. "Listen," I said, lowering my voice, just in case someone close by was listening. "Mingi used to hurt me. But he's changing. He made a promise to never hurt me again, and I know he's going to keep it. So, I don't need anyone's help. Okay?"

Soyeon shook her head, her eyes clouding in sorrow. "Yeeun, you can't believe him," she said gently. "People who abuse other people can never be trusted, especially when they make promises like that. Do you really just expect Mingi to stop hurting you with the snap of your fingers?" She asked. "He may be saying that he won't ever hurt you again, but it's a lie. Abusers get addicted to hurting people just like smokers get addicted to cigarettes. They don't just stop whenever you ask them to."

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. "How do you know all of this?" I questioned her, suspiciously. She sighed, dropping her emerald eyes to the floor. "Because I've been in your shoes before, Yeeun."

My jaw fell open just slightly. Soyeon returned her eyes to mine. "My ex-boyfriend was abusive too. He was controlling, manipulative, and just a complete monster," she said, pain and sadness filling her brown eyes. "He would make promises to never hurt me again, but he did anyway. And I still believed him every time."

I released a small gasp, my hand covering my mouth. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Soyeon, in an abusive relationship. Sweet, happy Soyeon. I couldn't believe it. How could anyone ever want to hurt her?

"I kept it secret for a long time, but one night, he nearly killed me and I had no other choice but to get help," she continued. "The next day, he was taken away and locked up." "But--" I rasped, my voice small and weak. "But didn't you love him?" She gave me a sad smile. "When you get as close to being raped as I did, you find it pretty hard to continue loving that person."

My eyes widened slightly and I couldn't help but remember the time Mingi practically threatened to rape me. A shiver ran up my spine.

"Anyway," Soyeon sighed. "After he was arrested, my mom had me go to counseling for several weeks, which helped a lot. The counselor talked me through all of the emotions I'd been bottling up and then she educate me on how to prevent another abusive relationship in the future." She took a pause. "The counselor taught me a lot about abusive relationships and why they happen. That's why I know so much and that's why I can help you."

I was speechless as I processed everything she'd just said to me. I didn't know what to think anymore and I felt so helplessly lost.

Just when I thought things were getting better. "Yeeun," she spoke again. "You can't let things get as bad as I did. Mingi's never going to change, no matter how many promises he makes. You need to understand that."

Releasing a shaky breath, I shook my head. A headache was starting to form as my mind pondered on who I should put my faith in.

Then Soyeon seemed to read my mind. "Yeeun,"she said. "Trust me, not Mingi."