Imported | On Hold |

12

Andrew

I made a mistake, or at least, in my mind what I'd done seemed like a mistake. I'd told Garrett that I liked him, which was true, for the most part, I did like him, a lot actually. More than I'd realized. But then he'd kissed me, and I swear to God I saw stars. I'd internally freaked out afterward, locking myself in the bathroom telling Garrett that I was showering.

I was a bad liar, and Garrett knew the truth, he could tell that I was freaking out. And he was so nice about it, honestly, selfishly I'd hoped for him to be an ass about it. So that maybe I could find a reason to stop liking him, to end things before they could even have a chance to start. I'm still in the shower, letting the now cold-water pound down over me, I could feel goosebumps start to form so I turn the water off. I'd have to remember to give Garrett money for the water bill, Lord knows I'd used a month's worth in one night.

Drying myself quickly, I slip on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt over my head, finally joining Garrett in the living room. He's quiet as if he knew that anything, he had to say would send me over the edge. I feel bad, knowing that the real Garrett is dying to ask me questions, to talk to me about my feelings, and yet him not saying a word only made it harder for me to stop liking him. We sit in silence for a while, mindlessly watching some tv show before Garrett turns the tv off.

"We don't have to..." and before he can finish whatever it is he's about to say I cut in,

"I think I may have bitten off a little more than I can chew." Is all I say, leaving the room absolutely silent, and I'm afraid to look at him.

"It's okay," he finally speaks, and I force myself to look at him, he's smiling and nods his head.

"I'm sorry."

"Why? You've done absolutely nothing wrong, Andrew, seriously." He's still smiling, a good sign. I blow out the breath I've been holding, and I notice that my hands are shaking again, God, I can't stand myself sometimes.

"I'll still sleep on the couch," is all I can think to say, and he shrugs his shoulders,

"It's up to you, I don't mind sharing my bed, and I don't mind you staying on the couch, and if you want, we can alternate nights." Jesus Christ, could he be nicer? I close my eyes because he was making this whole thing incredibly hard, and nice at the same time.

"I wouldn't want to intrude,"

"It's honestly not a big deal, and please, don't feel like you owe me anything. It's just a bed. It's just a span of eight or so hours at the most, just a place to sleep."

"Are you always this incredible?"

"Only sometimes," he grins, "so I was thinking, if you want to go help Shane tomorrow, I can give you another ride, I'm actually going to be meeting up with Jeffree, you know, Jeffree Star?" The name sounded familiar, so I nod my head slowly as if to say, yes, but please enlighten me, "we're filming a collab, and we agreed to do so tomorrow."

"Oh, well actually Shane's going to help Ryland with his video tomorrow... Do you mind if I tag along?" Garrett's smile brightens and he nods his head quickly.

"Of course not! The more the merrier! I'll let Jeffree know, I'm sure he would love to meet you!"

"Well, I'm nothing special," I mutter, feeling my cheeks flush a bright red.

"Oh hush, Andrew, you're great."

"Well, thank you." I can feel myself start to relax a little, my old self coming back to me.

"Anytime,"

"Do you think... do you think maybe we could do things, slowly?" He looks up from his phone, a little surprised.

"Do what? The video?" I shake my head, wishing he'd caught on the first time.

"I mean... us."

"Oh, oh... Oh?" He raises his eyebrows, a little smirk appearing on his lips.

"Can you not, smile like that? I can't, I can't breathe when you do that," I mutter, not thinking about what I'm saying. He stops immediately, tensing up as soon as he does.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry."

"No, no, no, see? I'm a freak about this kind of stuff, and I hate it. I just, I want to be comfortable with this and you and myself, and I want to like... I don't know, kiss you and hold your hand and I just want to be able to actually do all of that without having a panic attack." He nods his head quickly,

"I understand, I just, I don't know how I could help you, I want to, trust me! I mean, I still can't believe that you like me, I mean... YOU like ME?"

"Garrett,"

"Sorry! I'm sorry, I just get so caught up, in the moment, and it's hard for me to control myself, especially around boys that I like, and now that I know you like me??"

"Garrett!!"

"Okay, I'm done! I swear!! I won't do that again, but come on, Andrew!" He motions towards me in general and I can feel my heart begin to race again.

"You just, you make me feel things I've never felt in my entire life. It scares the shit out of me, and I just, I don't want to say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing, or react the wrong way, because God knows if I do anything to hurt you or fuck whatever this is that we have going on up..." I'm rambling, and Garrett's at my side, his hands settling on mine, pushing them down slowly, he holds them as he stands across from me.

"Andrew," he whispers, pressing his forehead to mine, "we can take this as slow as you need, for as long as you need," our noses are touching now, and all I want is for him to kiss me. And he does, soft at first, but I need more, I let go of his hands, settling mine on his waist. He traces my jawline with his long fingers, sending chills all over my body.

"Fuck, Garrett," because he made it so hard for me to want to take things slow, his hands now settle on my waist, pressing our bodies together.

"Shhh," he kisses down my neck, "don't say that, because I will." Nipping at my collarbone, and I just know it'll leave a mark, this excites me, our little secret. I lean my head back, and he grabs my neck gently, his thumb pressing down on just the right spot. I let out a moan, and he giggles as he moves us into the bedroom. "Is this okay?" He mutters, pulling at the hem of my shirt and I nod quickly, not ever wanting for this to end. Garrett throws my shirt across the room, kissing a trail down from my collarbone to my stomach, just as I'm about to say something, he stops.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to do anything else,"

"Oh?"

"You're not ready for that," He was right, and it was fucking embarrassing, but I nod my head.

"You're right, I'm sorry." He rolls his eyes, climbing off of me, he lays down beside me.

"Stop apologizing,"

"I'm sorry." 

A/N: Again, this fic will definitely have a slower build up to the drama and angst, so hang tight, but enjoy the cute fluff bits!!! 

<3 

Nicole