Precious // Joshler // ddlb

*eleven*

⚠️ possibly triggering. self hate words and things of that nature. look for the 🦋 if you don't want to read it or for no more bolded/italicized words. stay safe, ily ❤️⚠️

Disappointment

How could you, little bitch

How many times have you tried? Hmm? And you're still alive? Jesus Christ!

You're fat and disgusting, you pig!

You're scars aren't going to go away, you know

You should be dead

Go back to being anorexic why don't ya? Or maybe even bulimic? That was much more fun!

Why were you even born?

You should actually kill yourself this time

Wimp

No. One. Cares. About. You.

Why couldn't you keep leaning forward? Huh? Stupid "I can't breathe" reflex, pathetic

The darkness is your friend, admit it, fucker

Why couldn't you have cut deep enough?

Everyone thinks you're weird, so why even try to make friends with this dude?

Asshole

Terrible

Worthless

kill yourself.

🦋

Tyler wakes up sweating bullets, the sheets felt either too hot or too cold, but he couldn't figure out which. He unknowingly lets out a harsh sob, pulling his legs up to his chest. The brunet screams bloody murder. Josh was downstairs cooking dinner before he heard the screaming coming from his room. Josh immediately turned off the stove and raced upstairs.

"Woah, woah, woah, what happened?" Josh quickly went over to his bed and hugged Tyler.

The brunet continued to wail, clinging onto his legs like his life depended on it. Josh removes Tyler's arms from his legs, taken aback when Tyler leaps forward into his arms.

"Tyler, hun, you're alright." Josh soothes.

He adjusts Tyler in his arms so that they're both comfortable. Josh rocks the frightened boy in his arms, doing his best to calm him down.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry," Tyler cries, clinging onto Josh more and more.

"Why are you apologizing, hun? Hmm? There's no reason to be sorry. Absolutely none." Josh cooes.

Tyler couldn't stop those words and phrases going through his mind. The thing that terrifies him the most is that the voice is his own.

"Scared." Tyler hiccups, hiding his face in the older boy's shoulder.

"Okay, sweetheart, no need to be scared. I left dinner cooking downstairs. I can't let it keep cooking without me there. You'll come, okay?"

Tyler whines, softly nuzzling his head into Josh's shoulder.

"I'll carry you, okay, hun?" Josh spoke softly, kissing the brunet's head gently.

Clinging onto Josh tightly, Tyler nods. Josh lifts the brunet up on his hip. The older boy walks down the stairs, bouncing Tyler who was still crying and whimpering. With a huff, Josh shifts the boy over to his left arm so he could stir the spaghetti.

"I know, Ty, I know." He soothes, continuing to bounce the boy.

After a few minutes he sets Tyler on the counter. The little screeches, reaching out for Josh. The older boy tries to hurry and pour all of the pasta in the strainer in the sink.

"Joshie!" Tyler wails, continuing to make grabby hands at him.

Josh the little bit of water that was left in the strainer out. Then pouring it back into the pot before taking Tyler back in his arms. Jim comes limping in to see what all the commotion was about.

"You're fine, relax, sweetheart. What's wrong?"

Josh doesn't get a response, only sobbing.

"Do you want a sippy or something to help you calm down?"

Josh felt Tyler nod. He goes upstairs with the little clinging to him. He gets the stuffed cockatiel and a sippy cup. Walking back downstairs he spots Jim trying to get to the pasta. Because of his broken leg he wasn't doing so well.

"Hey, get down, brat." He whisper-yells.

Jim stops investigating the smell and limps back into the living room. Tyler's sobs have died down, relieving Josh quite a bit. The older boy gets some juice out of the fridge and pours it into the sippy cup with one hand successfully. He tightens the lid and walks to the couch.

"Joshie." Tyler whimpers as they sit down.

"I know, sweetie, I know." Josh says softly, giving the little his sippy cup.

Tyler quickly takes the cup and starts drinking the juice, curling up in Josh's lap. The two sit in almost complete silence, besides the radio playing softly in the kitchen.

"Joshie?" Tyler whispers after quite some time.

"Yes, hun?"

"Sowwy m'a cwybaby, and sowwy I'm bad..."

Josh raises an eyebrow, confused why Tyler was "bad".

"How are you bad, sweetie?"

Tyler chews on the tip of his sippy cup, on the verge on zoning out.

"M'scars." He simply states.

"You're wha—?" Josh realizes what he meant by 'scars'.

Tyler relaxes more into Josh sighing in content. He still was unhappy, but at least he was comfy. Josh wraps his arms around the younger boy, kissing his hair gently.

"I'm sorry, love bug."

⚫️🌼⚫️