Randoms

Dull blue eyes

I'm supposed to be sad, that much I do know. I'm supposed to be crying, but I'm not.

Other people pity me, thinking I'm still in shock, but I'm not.

I saw everything, yes. I understand what happened, also yes. But I'm not feeling anything, not angry, not sad, not lost, I know I have to be here. Do I want to be here? I. Don't.

It's infuriating and that's the only feeling I can actually feel, but I still have to act in some way, I can't expect people to think I'm in shock forever.

I always knew this moment would come, I thought I'd know how to act, how to respond. The shock act can't last forever, but at least it buys me time.

I see the people around me all dressed in black, some crying, some with pitiful stares, others empty. I see my mom across the room, one of my father's colleagues is giving her his condolences and she breaks down in tears. Should I do that too?

Another man approaches them, says a quick hello, his condolences, the usual stuff, before he walks off. That's what they all do, say sorry for your lost without meaning it and walk off, not caring that it only adds insult to injury.

Unlike everyone else, he walks in my direction. That's odd, people here have forgotten that I exist, they just talk to mom and grandma.

"Hey kiddo, how you doing?" The man says with an unusual cheerful smile that does not belong to a funeral.

"Dunno, how am I supposed to be doing after seeing my father's killer in his funeral?" I ask. It's not a threat, I'm not angry, I genuinely want an answer.

He laughs and strangely enough no one cares, no one even turns around to look at him.

"You're a funny boy." He comments. He then kneels in front of me. "You know you're lucky to be alive?" He says now very serious.

"Is that a threat?" I ask, I'm young, not stupid.

"Depends, do you want to find out? If you don't, you know what to do, or rather what not to do." He says with the same grin he had as he tortured my father.

"So to keep my mouth shut, that's fair, but I'm only a child, no one would believe me if I said something. Why go through the struggle of saying anything at all?" I say with a shrug.

"You know too much, I should had noticed you hiding behind that bin." He says.

"But you didn't, for starters I was inside the car. But you're right, you should had made sure no one was watching, I know why you did it." I say, my words as cold as his stare.

"How about you come outside with your favorite uncle? This is no environment for a kid." He says. I'm not stupid, but he isn't either. I know for a fact that there are people outside, so I should be safe.

I stand and walk besides him to the cold outside.

He lights a cigarette. "Tell me about that theory of yours." He says after a drag.

"You were jealous," I start. "I know what you and mom were doing, I know she cheated on him with you, and it infuriated you that he had stolen the woman that was meant to be yours." I say, looking up into his blue eyes with mine of the same color. He motions for me to continue. "Tom married mom only because she was pregnant with me, and because you had just been locked in that mental health hospital. He was in love with her, in a way. To her, he only reminded her of you." I explain, it's nothing new to him, obviously, but he's the first person to know that I know.

"You're not sad that your father is gone?" He says trying to hide his unease when he pronounces a certain word.

"Why would I be? He wasn't my real father." I shrug.

"You know? She told you?" He ask surprised.

"No, I found out on my own." I say.

We sit on the curb of the road in a comfortable silence as the sky turns dark and the people in black walk away. "Take care of her." He says out of nowhere. "She'll probably hate me when she realizes what I did."

"She doesn't have to find out." I say, I just found my real father, there is no way I'm letting him leave. "I'm the only evidence, I won't tell." I assure him.

"I can't lie to her. If we keep meeting she'll find out eventually, besides, she asked for help out of there, I know your mother well, she wasn't referring to murder but it won't take her long to put the pieces together." He says.

"I wrote that letter." I say. "I couldn't stand Tomas beating her like she was worthless, she isn't worthless." I clarify. "To her it could had just been someone taking what he owned them. Plus, according to witnesses, the aggressor was somewhat short, tattooed and really muscular, and was wearing a wolf's mask." I say with a proud smile.

He smiles slightly and ruffles my hair. "You're a smart kid." He says.

"I have good genes." I answer back.

His smile fades. "But I still think I won't be able to keep it from her."

"Well, you better not. After all, I'm your soon-to-be-wife, right?" My mother asks hugging my dad from behind, my real dad. He smiles.

"We've got a very clever kid, did you know?" He says taking her in his arms.

"Really?" She asks arching an eyebrow at me. "Tell me about it on the drive home, we're done here." She says standing up and dad and I follow after.

"I can't wait to burn everything that belonged to Tomas." I say and they both laugh at me, but we all know there'll be fireworks at our house tonight.

What do you think so far?