"I'm leaving shrek, and I'm taking the kids with me." Announced Fiona "I'm tired of your bullshit, you don't even pay attention to me, your always busy masturbating to loli porn, and you're probably gay too."
"Wait no!" "Fiona pls do don't go. :'((" Shrek yelled
"No lol." Said Fiona closing the door behind her
"Omigosh I'm so sad my wife took the kids. :'(((" "Finna go to the bar cause im a raging alcoholic." (just like my dad :( )
Shrek walked to the bar and sat down on a chair but hes so fucking fat that it broke into pieces, some getting stuck in his asshole.
"GOD DAMMIT!!1!!1!1;!1!1" Yelled Shrek, so loud that the place shaked.
"A-are you okay?" Asked a voice shyly.
Shrek turned around to see the HOTTEST FUCKING THING HE HAS EVER SEEN.
A SEXY blue squid wearing a school girl uniform, with a huge ass dick nose, I want him to shove it up my ass so bad.
"U-uhh yeah!" "Thanks for asking." I replied clearly nervous.
"Oh!" "You're welcum uwu." He replied
We began to talk for hours until it started to get dark.
"Well I have to go home now." I said sadly.
"Awwwh really :((??" He said with puppy dog eyes owo "can I pwease come home with u x3 0\\\\0?"
He was just way too fucking adorable to say no to
"S-sure, follow me."
