(Loosely inspired by the song "College" by FINNEAS)
I felt her warm lips press lightly to my cheek as the camera shutter snapped. From the underside of the Polaroid camera, two undeveloped snapshots of Billie and I slid out. In minutes, the fullness of her lips and the rosiness of our cheeks in the sunny October cold appeared on the sheets of film.
She smiled up through her eyelashes and handed me one.
"For you to remember me." She spoke meaningfully, then held up the picture. "This will be there when we need it most."
I scoffed, and looked at her- blissfully, crazily happy.
"As if I could ever forget you."
—
"And here...both the formal and alternative forms of the derivative can be proven..." Droned the professor who, despite teaching a class of mine for almost a full semester, still had an unmemorable name.
Biting my lip thoughtfully and fiddling with my pencil, I began to feel myself zone out. I thought of her, back in L.A. or wherever she was at the moment, doing whatever it is that critically-acclaimed musicians do when their girlfriends moved across the country to attend college.
Isn't it sad that I didn't even know if she was in the United States? We never broke up, but saying we're together would be an exaggeration.
Facetimes between free periods turned into Facetimes whenever we were both free, which became increasingly rare as her Billie's fame grew. Nighttime texts came every night for the first month, then became less and less until they stopped completely. But the real kicker was when I saw the relationship rumors of her and some rapper, Que...that broke me. I hadn't messaged her about it- I didn't need to; we both knew they were going on, and we both knew she wasn't doing much to stop them. It made me believe they might be true. I wanted to talk to her about it, but wanted to wait until we saw each other in person again. We were so good in person.
"See you next week. Chapter problems for 13 and 15 are due by midnight tomorrow." The same voice that had put me to sleep drove me out of my daze as the shuffling of papers and backpacks guided me to pack my things and leave. I checked my phone- no badges, no notifications. It would have almost been strange if she had texted.
—
Back at my dorm, I dropped my bag by the door and laid on my bed. I turned to the wall next to me; strung on it were almost a hundred pictures of my friends and Billie, of course...back when things were good. Even still, if there were a hundred on that wall, 50 of them were of Billie.
I reached upward and lazily traced the outline of her face on the picture we had taken right before I left for school. My fingers fell in and out for her ski-jump nose, then hovered over her pouty lips...her lips, I thought...her lips pressed against my cheek, we had been so in love.
But you moved on. Without even a goodbye.
"Maybe I should try it sometime." I mumbled to myself, repeating the words she'd harshly hashed over the phone during one of the last fights we'd had.
I almost wish we were still fighting. At least I'd get to hear your voice. I wish you'd yell at me, I wish you cared enough to yell at me.
A lone tear slipped down the side of my face. I didn't bother wiping it away. In timing with the tear, a notification popped up on my phone's screen with a ding! Still lying down, I sniffled and held it up to see:
wherearetheavocados just posted a photo.
I hesitated and almost didn't check it, but curiosity got the best of me. It had been months since she had posted anything, and truthfully, I'd missed her face. I hoped it was of her face.
Instagram loaded up, and at the top of my feed was...me. And her. Kissing my cheek, her eyes closed, eyelashes fluttering. I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing- she had posted her copy of the Polaroid. With 7,000 likes already, the caption read:
"For you to remember me."
The extensive comments section read things like, "Wait, so Bil and Que aren't a thing? V confused", "Publicity stunt? We think so.", "Cute! We love this side of you Billie.", "It was a confirmed stunt omg!!"
Before real confusion could set in, another badge appeared at the top of my screen with a different sound...this one a text.
Billie: Hey...can I call you?
