1980's Rock Imagines

Jon Bon Jovi - Confused Reality

Word Count: 1, 540

It had been two months now that you had spent alone, without the company of Jon while he was on tour. Every day was the same routine, going to work every morning for a job you didn't need, just so you could distract yourself somehow. Every night you would eat alone and watch tv until you were bored enough to sleep.

Sleeping was the worst part of it all. Not only were you restless most nights without Jon's arm around you, or his warmth next to you at the very least, but you had bigger problems if you actually managed to fall asleep. Most nights, with the exception of a few nights a week, you would have the same reoccurring dream. 

In your dream, you would wake up to Jon right next to you. He would lie there awake next to you, just looking at you, never responding to anything you said or reacting in any way if you touched him. It was like he couldn't even see you, even though he would be staring right at your face. The same lonely, confusing dream every night made for a pretty poor start to your day, and not even phone calls from Jon could ease how painful it was. 

Tonight, you didn't expect it to be any different. After work, you lazily lounged on the couch while eating a bowl of fruit, not having enough energy to make a proper meal. You were entertained with watching Miami Vice for a few hours, but you were ready to just get your day over with. 

You didn't exactly want to say that you were depressed when Jon wasn't around, but you were sure that you at least came close to it. 

After showering and drying your hair, you got in bed and just layed there contemplating if you should put some music on to help you fall asleep. Sometimes if you played Bon Jovi, hearing Jon's voice would make you feel better and put you at ease. Though tonight, you just felt too lazy to get out of bed now that you were already in it.

Minutes of lying there, awake, felt like hours to you. But, you fell asleep eventually only to have the same dreadful dream again. In your dream, you saw Jon taking off his shirt before sliding next to you in the bed, pulling the covers up and over himself carefully before facing you like he always did. He closed his eyes this time, not even looking at you now. You weren't sure what was worse; the blank stare or him not looking at you at all.

"I'm so sick of this stupid dream," you said, tears threatening to escape you even though you should have been used to it at this point.

"What dream?"

Your body went rigid, eyes flying open when you heard a response. You looked back over to him, his eyes tiredly blinking at you as he scanned your face.

"Jon...?" You blinked a couple of times, wondering how it was possible that after the countless identically silent dreams you had, that he was finally speaking to you.

"I did't mean to wake you up, Honey. Try to go back to sleep." He extended his arm forward to gently cup your face with his hand, kissing your lips only for a second before he withdrew his hand and rested it on your hip instead. He closed his eyes again and your eyes widened in shock. You hadn't felt him touch you in so long, let alone kiss you. It tore you apart that this false reality was what your mind had reduced itself to.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" you whispered, your shoulders shaking as you started to cry.

Jon immediately sat up when he realized your were crying, turning on the bedside lamp before returning his attention to you. He cupped your face again looking at you in the eye.

"Y/N, what's wrong."

You just stared at him, so confused and disoriented you really didn't know what to do. You reluctantly brought your hand up to touch his, still resting on your cheek. You were afraid that his touch was only an illusion and would fade away as soon as you put your hand on his, but it didn't. The feeling of his hand on yours was warm and lively, acutely realistic for a dream, which you suspected was strange. 

"Please tell me. Why are you crying baby?"

You stared at him, his face growing with panic every time you left him without an answer. What he didn't know was that you were studying him, just trying to find answers of your own. This dream was so different from all of the other ones. There was light in the room, Jon had spoken to you, and he was looking at you as if he were dying for you to say something back, instead of as if you weren't there.

Not to mention, you felt more lively in this dream than in any from the past. Rather than feeling like you were just laying there, occupying a dead space, you felt electricity move through you the second he kissed you.

"Kiss me again," you demanded, hoping that it would make you feel even more alive than the first time. 

Jon looked slightly puzzled, but had no problem with complying. He attached his lips with yours again, more forcefully this time. He turned his head to deepen the kiss as he hovered over you, relighting a fire in you that had died a little every day since he left for tour. When he finally pulled away, he tried to read what your face, only to find that you looked just as bewildered and panicked as before. 

He stared into your eyes and couldn't help but say, "I missed you so much. I didn't want to wake you up, since we got back so late, but I'm kind of glad you did. I don't know how much longer I would have made it without kissing you."

"I don't understand... What do you mean 'you got back so late'?"

"Well, we weren't expecting to come home for another couple of weeks. But, Tico got really sick and spread it to Richie and David. We couldn't really finish the tour with half of the band not being able to play, so we decided to just cancel the rest of the tour and come home. The rest of the guys are spending the night in a hotel a few hours South, but I just wanted to come home. I was tired of waking up without you next to me," he smiled.

"Oh my god..." you trailed off, all of the gears turning in your brain finally starting to generate some sense. You realized that this wasn't a dream.

"What?"

"You're real," you whispered, feeling so incredibly foolish because it had taken you this long to realize it. You had never had such a confusing, disorienting, lost feeling in your life. You had so easily confused dreams with reality, you hadn't even recognized that the love of your life, sitting on top of you, wasn't some sort of weird figment of your imagination. 

"Um... Are you drunk or something?" he chuckled, tilting his head to the side and clearly not understanding what was going through your head at the moment. 

You didn't have any words when it dawned on you that you weren't dreaming. All you could manage to do was fling yourself at him, nearly knocking him onto his back with the impact of your tight embrace. You cried into his chest, immensely happy that he was home, yet terrified at the mind blowing experience you had just gone through. 

Jon hugged you back, rocking you slightly and leaving kisses on your head while he waited for you to explain what was going on. 

"I've missed you so much. Oh, Jon. It was awful. Every night I would have this dream that you were here in bed next to me, but you would just look at me and never say anything. You wouldn't touch me or acknowledge me. You were just there, taunting me every single night. I would tell you I love you, and you wouldn't say it back," you cried a little harder when you thought about the last detail.

"It's okay, Baby. I'm here," he cooed. 

"I thought that you were just another dream," you said, taking your head off of his shoulder to look at him. Jon finally understood now, feeling sympathetic for you as he tried to console you.

He took your face into both of his hands and said, "I promise you, I'm real." He smiled at you and almost laughed at how strange that sounded coming from his own mouth, but he suppressed it because he knew you were still sensitive. 

Just to really make sure, you said, "I love you," knowing that your dream version of him wouldn't say it back. 

Jon leaned forward to kiss you again on the lips before leaving several messy kisses on your cheeks, jaw, and neck. You couldn't have been more relieved to hear him say, "I love you too." 

*A/N: I hope this wasn't confusing. Also, I haven't edited this for grammar mistakes and such, but I will soon.*