Past Promises

I AM ALONE (PART IV)

No One's Left

I couldn't afford to hear their conversation anymore so I stormed out from the room and run towards the South Gate but then I remember the old gate has gone and the entrance into to the flower field has been closed.

I look at the walls and contemplate to use my ghost-ability to go to the flower field but then, who cares?

I brace myself and walk through the walls.

'Ergh, this feels weird.'

I reach to the other side and step into the flower field. I run across the field towards the tree.

I sit under the tree and hug my knees. I relive what the Prince said in my head.

My heart feels like it has been struck by thousands of arrows and it pains me more when it was caused by my own child.

How could he say such words? The charming little prince that I adored before said right in front of me that I betrayed him.

What did I do that I deserved to be called that?

I swallow my tears. I wouldn't cry for such ridiculous claim!

I'm sure I didn't do anything to him. I loved him. I loved the King. I was a good citizen and I was a Queen!

Why in the world would I betray them?

There must be someone that turned me into a betrayer and my child was brainwashed by him! Yes, this must be it.

"My Prince, Mother is innocent. I would never betray you and your father."

***

After I feel better, I walk back into the Palace and on my way back to the King's Residence, I noticed a familiar gate.

It's the gate of my residence, before. It's tightly closed and I notice that no one's around.

I once again use my ability to get into the residence.

Quiet.

The gazebo near my chamber has wild flowers spiraling and covering the wooden pillars and the cement ground covered with green moss. The small pond near it has dried. There used to be a swing on the tree, but the rope had broke off and the swing laid on the ground.

I go to the chamber and the floor are full with dust and dried leaves.

No sign of people living in there, maybe for years. Or, after I died.

"Isn't this supposed to be a Queen's Residence? Doesn't the current Queen supposed to live here?" I feel weird.

When I was appointed to be the Queen before, I moved from the Crown Princess's Residence to the Queen's Residence while the Queen Dowager moved to a new residence. I was told that the Queen's Residence will only be used by the Queen. 

'But why no one's here?'

I come inside the chamber and look around. Most of my things-the things I used to own- are still there!

The Queen's robe still hanged on the wooden rack. The jewelleries are still on the table. The books are still stacked on the shelves. 

Everything that I used to hold, still there. Except for the dust.

There's a memorial table with my memorial  tablet placed on the corner of the room but there's no offering. Just an empty table with ...clothes with a blood stained folded next to the tablet? It's my clothes! Was this my blood?

How did I die? What exactly happened after I died? No, six years before my death that I couldn't remember, those years are a mystery!

***

After that day, I had never seen the King enters the Memorial Room again. Maybe he follows what the Queen told her, to let me go. Sigh.

He's busy with the nation's matters and I only go to his residence once a week just to see his face. Most of the time, I'll be in the Memorial Room, my residence and the flower field.

When the Queen gave birth to my grandson, I added the Queen's residence as my favourite place.

I would come and visit the little prince. I like him because he could see me!

He will laugh when I'm making faces to him and at night I'll accompany him in his room.

But, the joy was short lived. He stopped seeing me as soon as he reached a year-old and I was lonely, yet again.

I never left the Palace and since I'm used being in the Palace, I'm scared of going out of the Palace.

What if I run across a Shaman? That would be a nightmare!

Moreover, I wonder if the King became a ghost. Maybe he was searching for me as well, like I do.

Maybe he will find me if I just stay in the Palace.

But, he never came. And a year, ten years and fifty years just went by just like that.

My Prince grows old and now he is in his death bed. I watch him silently as his breathing becomes slower and until he breathed his last breath.

As the Prince closes his eyes, a younger version of him appears right beside his body, wearing in white, watching sadly at the lifeless body.

"My Prince?" I call him.

He looks at me, shocked. "Queen Mother?" Then suddenly his eyes filled with sorrow and he looks at me with those eyes.

I feel dejected, 'Why would you look at your Mother like that?' I come closer to him but as I reach out to him, he slowly turns in mist.

"No, not yet, My Prince!" I cry out. My hand touches an empty air.

The he disappears, leaving me and the world.

Even my child left me. Now, I don't have anyone left in this world. His family feels so unfamiliar to me.

I have no place to go and maybe I have no place at all in this world.

I look at the sky with my teary eyes. Everything feels blurry and my heart feels void. I feel discontent, anger rushes in me.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR ME?"

'Anybody...answer me.'