Like a dream

CHAPTER-10. NOW

My mouth takes a sip of the hot coffee and the thick cream melts on my tongue. My eyes gaze serenely out of the window. The fluffy clouds swiftly turn into a wisp of smoke as the wings of the aeroplane cut through them. It has been just a week since I returned from Paris after a wonderful collaboration with the H&G couture. I'm yet again on my way to the Holy capital of fashion to attend my friend's fashion show. The colours, their combination, the uniqueness of the apparels are always outstanding yet appealing.
My lips form an involuntary smile as the excitement within me bubbles.
'Your first time in Paris?' the small boy beside me asks.
I shake my head in denial 'No.'
'Then why are you so excited?' he asks curiously with his beautiful small green eyes wide open reminding me of someone.
' I love the fashion in Paris. I'm a fashion designer' I tell him. 'What brings you to Paris?'
'I'm sorry. I must not talk to strangers.' he turns his face. Man, kids these days are pretty clever.
'But you talked to me first.'
He looks at me in the corner of his eyes as he was caught.
'I mean I'll not talk to strangers about myself.'
'Hmm...' I narrow my eyes playfully at him.
'So Ms.Fashion designer. How is my outfit?'
Wearing a blue jean and white turtle neck and his small green eyes, his appearance reminds me strongly of Nick.
'You look wonderful!' I say.
'Thank you. You too look good. I would love to have a gorgeous girlfriend like you' he says with a wink which makes me laugh.
'Nicholas' his mom, turns back from the front seat and glares at him.
Even his name is Nick. Is fate teasing me?
She turns after apologizing to me.
The boy turns silent after his mother's angry glare. Seriously, even I am a bit frightened. It brings back my childhood memories. I remind myself to Skype mom after reaching the hotel room.
As the flight is about to land, the air hostess appears and makes her usual announcements like an automated doll.
Nicholas gives me a flying kiss before leaving which earns him another angry glare from his mother.
As I get down the stairs, the city greets me with a cool breeze and warm sunshine. Ah what a perfect day.
After reaching my hotel, I Skype my mom.
'Bangaram!' meaning Precious one in Telugu- that is what she addresses me as soon as she appears on my laptop screen filling my hotel room with motherly love and warmth from India. She is an English professor in an all ladies college in Hyderabad. She is a cool mother more like my partner in crime.
'Mom' I smile widely like a small child.
'Did you sleep well? I can see your dark circles very well.'
I laugh 'Don't fool me. I'm wearing makeup. So what's going?'
'Nothing. Your nana cooked lasagna and it turned out like kichadi.' Kichadi is a South Indian dish which is semisolid in consistency.
We both laugh. My dad is a manager in an IT firm plus an incredible cook. He tries out new exotic dishes every weekend and it's mom and me who have to finish them up whether they are edible or not.
'Any special news from my Lei.'
'Nothing here.'
'I want to ask you something.' She hesitates.
'Geetha aunty has given a horoscope of her nephew and has asked...'
' I'm not interested.' I cut her in midway clenching the locket around my neck.
'Lei, it has been a year. It's not healthy to still have feelings for Nick. You have to get a hold of yourself.'
'I'm sorry Mom. I need some time.'
She looks worried about my future. In the Indian community, the average age of marriage for girls is 24. I'm 26 and her worry is sensible but I can't enter into another relationship, with Nick still inside my head.
'Please mom' I beg.
She leaves a sigh 'Okay, I'm leaving it for now.'
I talk with her for sometime before hanging up. After an hour of sound sleep, I get up refreshed to get ready for the show.
     My dress is a royal blue dress with a halter neckline with a lace trimmed wide opening at the back and the dress reaching middle of my thighs in graceful pleats. I pair it with nude pumps and deep red lipstick. After checking the mirror for the hundredth time, I leave the hotel room. I hop into a cab and head my way to the show.
       Glamourous people and fine clothes, everywhere around. Famous people, too. Cameras are flashing all around. This is what I get to see as I enter the arena. The music is loud and I feel like my skull is exploding. I sit in the front row for Arthur Fournier's show. This French mastermind's street styles have been a spectacle. I watch the gorgeous, willowy models strutting down the runway in beautiful clothes, some glittery, some scantily clad, as lights flash on them. My attention is suddenly captured by this tall, slender brunette woman with turquoise tip dyed shoulder length hair, emerging down the runway. She truly is an ethereal beauty. Dressed in a loose and flowy grey floral skater dress, she still looks seductive. Her eyes emit an irresistible magnetic wave as she looks at the audience and smiles. I see her eyes shift slightly and her glare pierces me. Our eyes meet only for a moment, but it is intense. Both of us stare in disbelief. She looks just the same as I met her a year ago at Brian McQuillyn. So beautiful and so perfect. But what is she doing here? If I remember correctly, I think she had a boyfriend and they lived in Melbourne. But it has been several months and things may have changed. She stops at the end of the runway, strikes a pose and spins on her toes as she heads back up the runway. And then the models take a final walk before posing with Arthur. There comes a loud cheer from the audience and Arthur waves at them.
I leap out of my seat and walk out to reach my hotel, which is just a few buildings away. I take the elevator to reach the fifth floor. The after party is an even more glamorous affair, but right now I can think of nothing else but her. The more I think of her, the more I remember my times with Nick. Oh my God! This isn't what I wanted. My evening has been ruined. I took this trip just to run away from the crazy stuff going on in my life and here I am, standing deep in the maze, once again. I wish I never saw her. I heave a sigh as the lift comes to a stop and make my way out as the doors slide open. Once I'm inside my room, I head into my bathroom to refresh myself. I change into a red off-shoulder ruffled bodycon midi dress and then apply bright red lipstick, before brushing my hair down the shoulders. I receive a call from the front desk saying that my cab has arrived. I put on my metallic gold stilettos before heading out to the club.
The driver stops the car just around the corner and I get into the club through the rear patio after the doorkeeper scans the attendee list for my name. Loud electro-rock music is pulsing through the entire club. Coloured lights flash on the dance floor as the crowd moves to the beats. I spot Arthur at a far corner clicking pictures with the female models. I grab a lemonade and approach him. I pat his right shoulder from behind and he turns back quickly. 'Someone is as happy as a clam!'
'Look who's here!' he exclaims as he pulls me into his warm embrace. 'It must be close to two years since I last saw you.' I nod my head and say, 'Keeping busy, you know!'
'You look fantastic in that dress!' He winks at me.
'I've fallen for your sugar coated words' I tell him teasingly.
Arthur and I went to LCF together. Back then, he was kinda wild, kept playing jokes, a prankster of all sorts and I was the one who kept him in line. We've been buds ever since. His family owns a fashion house, with multiple stores all around Europe and as soon as he graduated, he joined his family business. A year ago, he created his own label and now he has launched his first signature collection.
He takes me to a couch that is far off from inebriates and chirpy people. I slowly sip from my glass.
'Your designs were too good. I loved them.'
'Thank you, my lady! What's with your new business?'
'It's terrific! I enjoy it so much!' I reply.
A young guy in a white suit comes near and tells Arthur, 'Mrs.Barbara is here.'
'I think I have to excuse myself' Arthur tells me as he rises up from the couch.
'No problem.'
'Care to hang out with me tomorrow?'
'I'm leaving for London early in the morning' I tell him. 'You carry on with your work. We'll meet sometime soon.'
'Well then! Give my love to your mom and dad!' I get up and he pulls me into a tight hug.
'I sure will. It was great seeing you!'
'Bye! Take care!'
After he leaves, I sit back on the couch and drink the lemonade. I watch the crowd- some dancing, some drinking, some laughing, some shouting and a few kissing. I lost the hope of enjoying the party as soon as I saw her at the show. I'm dreading today. I haven't seen her at the party yet. Not to further ruin my day, I need to leave before I meet her again. 'This day will pass. You will be okay' I comfort myself, until I see the tall, slim turquoise hair woman, with a wide smile on her face, approaching me. She is wearing a short strapless black sequin bodycon dress and strappy black heels. How much worse could my day possibly get? I take a deep breath, trying to keep my calm.
'Leila, I'm so happy to see you' she tells me, flashing her fake smile. She sits by my side and leans forward to air kiss my cheeks.
'Good to see you too.' I force a smile on my face.
'It has been a year, right?' she asks me and I just nod my head. 'Things happen, you never know.' She bats her fake eyelashes, showing fake sympathy. Yeah, I never thought he would leave me this young. He was just twenty-seven.
'I still can't believe a year has passed' she says. She didn't even have the decency to attend his funeral. Even though I hate to admit this fact, she has spent much time with him than I have. He was once an important part of her life and he would have wished her to be present on his last day. I even sent her the date, time and place of his funeral, though I didn't quite like her, just for the sake of Nick. But she never turned up.
'So how is everything going?' she asks me.
'Hanging in there.'
'It's quite tough, I know' she says. "You know nothing"my mind screams. I cried most of the nights for not being able to see the face I admired, one last time. I cried as I walked down our memory lane all alone. I cried, wishing all of it would be a nightmare that would end with the wake of the dawn. But what happened was beyond my control. A year has gone, but it all seems like yesterday. And I think, a part of me died with him. "You never knew what I've been through" my soul yells. So don't pretend as you know.
'Are you seeing anyone?' she asks me. We aren't even close enough to have this conversation. I stare at her for a moment.
'I'm not over Nick yet' I say pointedly.
'You must accept that he will not return. It's time for you to move on' she says.
I clutch the locket hanging around my neck. 'I don't feel like having this conversation right now' I tell her, making sure that my voice shows my annoyance.
'I can understand how you feel, but let me know if you need some comfort. I'm always here!' she says trying to sound concerned. I just nod my head before rising up from the couch and walking out of the club. Why is life so cruel? I don't expect people to show empathy, but I don't need such people who show false concern. Though life has been hard, I'm trying to rebuild it. Nick is physically absent and it leaves a void in me. But I'm trying to fill it up with the good memories we shared. I try to carry on with the part of him within me.