Bitter Affectionate

Chapter 10

"I have to hand it to myself," Calvin said, his eyes on his phone as he collapsed beside me on his bed, "I have a talent for finding the most stubborn, hottest guys."

I chuckled at that and laid down with him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're not the first person to turn me down. As surprising as that may be."

"Who else?"

"Careful, fido, don't get worked up. So protective," He muttered sarcastically. "A few college guys. The guys in this town are such bores. They love to play around, but the moment they hear the words gay or boyfriend, they run for the hills."

"Maybe they're afraid they aren't good enough for you," I replied in a teasing voice, turning onto my stomach and booping his nose.

"Har har," He mumbled, then continued on, "Take Jamal for example. Fine as hell. Fantastic kisser. Completely 'straight'. Do you see what I'm saying?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Good thing you're pretty," He muttered. "I'm saying that all the hot guys that are interested in me are so deep in the closet they only come out to polish their football trophies and spit on P-flag."

"Did anyone ever tell you to write poetry?"

Calvin sighed and nudged my shoulder, "Shut up, asshole. I'm trying to have a conversation."

"Okay, I'm sorry. So, you like this Jamal person. Why don't you just tell him he needs to be honest about how he feels about you, or that's it?"

"I wish it was that simple. But, he's so... addictive. I want to be around him. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it."

We fell into silence then, the type of silence that blanketed everything. A snowy, soundproof silence that made me feel warm and numb.

He dropped his phone onto the bed beside him with a sigh. I felt bad for him. I couldn't help it. He was so perfect, and he kept liking guys like... well, guys like me.

"This Jamal guy has to be stupid," I thought out loud. Calvin chuckled.

"No, I don't think so," he replied. "Not anymore than you. And, you're not stupid."

"How can you tell?"

He shrugged, then turned his head to meet my eyes. "I just can."

"Sometimes, I feel like I'm the biggest idiot around," I muttered. This is one of those times.

"Well, you shouldn't. There are plenty, huger idiots."

"Is huger a word?"

"I don't know, you tell me, smartass."

I laughed, and for a moment, we were both quiet. That didn't happen much with me and Calvin. We always had something to say. And I knew I still had plenty to say. But, I stayed silent and just looked at him for a second.

I knew I liked him. There was no doubt in my mind. But how much was the question. I knew I liked him enough that I wanted to ask every single guy who ever turned him down who they think they are. Including myself. He deserved better. And I'm not it.

"Drew," He said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

And I said the last thing I should have said.

I said, "Yes."

(A/N: So sorry this is such a short chapter. The next one will be longer.

Also I've been on hiatus a lot from this book. I'm really sorry to everyone who is waiting for an update. I'll try to update more but I can't make any promises at the moment.)