it's so lonely here

Pain

Emma's POV
I woke up to an extremely bright light shining in my face. My memory was still jumbled and I had little to no control over my body. As I slowly came to, I tried to prop myself up, but was quickly pushed back down. "Stay down bitch and nobody gets hurt," a rough voice whispers, "you recording this?" he says to his friend. "Yeah, but put your mask on L before I push record," the man responds with a quick, "got it," and then puts his hand on my throat. "Where am I," I croak out. "Doesn't matter sweetcheeks, if you follow my rules this will all be over before you know it." Everything was so confusing and I could barely comprehend what was happening around me, but all I knew was that something terrible was about to happen. "Roling," his friend said and then suddenly the strange man was on top of me. My body started to go into full panic mode. "No no no," I thought, "this cannot be happening, I am not about to get raped." I tried to move my arms, but they were soon pinned to the ground. I felt desperate to get away but couldn't. "Stop," I begged, "please let me go, please I'll pay you, I'll do anything, but please stop." "Sorry princess, shouldn't take drinks from other people, this will sure teach you a lesson." The man began punching my face, one nailing my right in my eye. I winced in the pain and tears started to fall on my cheeks. I needed Ethan, I really fucking needed Ethan. I squeezed my eyes shut as they started to do what they came for, not caring about my cries or quiet screams for help. When they were finished they packed up their belongings and discarded me to the floor like a piece of garbage. "This never happened. Tell anyone and you're dead, that's a promise," said the man as he put on his shoes. As he headed for the door my head started to clear, I got a good glimpse and shivers ran down my spine, it was Logan. Logan fucking Paul. I was angry and embarrassed, how could I have been so dumb. I knew I got a bad vibe from him earlier, but I never EVER would have expected him to do something like this. I needed to get out of here. I wasted no time in ordering an uber and slowly picked myself off the ground. I slipped my way into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I was an absolute mess. My hair was in knots, my clothes were torn, and to top off the look a deep purple bruise formed around my eye. I tried my best to clean myself up, but decided that I should sneak out quickly before anyone saw me. I knew what just happened wasn't my fault and that I should go down and tell someone, but I was scared. Logan said he would kill me and I believed him. That guy had no empathy for others and as much pain I was in I truly didn't want to die. I walked out to the patio that was connected to the bedroom and lucky for me there was a staircase that led to the ground. I dashed for the road and when I saw my uber I quickly got inside. I sent Olivia and Amanda a short text telling them I left early and that I would see them when they got back from their trip. I knew they were probably having fun and I wasn't about to spoil it with my issues. I was shocked with how well I was keeping my composure, normally I'd be a mess of tears if anything remotely bad happened to me, but I was completely numb to the situation. When I arrived home I ran up to my bedroom and sat on my bed. It was there that everything hit me. All at once bits and pieces of the night started to flood back into my brain and all I could remember was the pain that I felt. The pain when he hit me, the pain when he took advantage of me, and the pain of not having Ethan there to save me. Ethan. God, what if Ethan finds out, he'd be so mad. Is it cheating if I didn't want any of it to happen? I couldn't decide, but I knew for sure there was no way in hell I was going to tell him. Instead I opened our messages and sent him a quick goodnight text. I didn't want him to worry, the boy worries to much anyways, and I had promised myself earlier that I was no longer going to waste people's time with my problems. I stared at
our texts and then closed my phone. The pain, all I remember was pain. I needed to get the feeling of Logan's touch off of me so I went into the shower and scrubbed my body until I was too tired to continue. I felt vile, I was a disgusting human being. How could I let this happen? Emma, goddammit, you're so fucking stupid. I grabbed the bag of razors and just as the night before I added swipe after swipe until it nearly reached the top of my arm. It stung, it bled, it hurt, but nothing hurt as bad as tonight. I deserved the pain, every burning second of it. After collecting my thoughts I had enough sense to clean out the new wounds and patch them up with bandaids. I walked back out to my room and saw that I got a text from Ethan. "Sounds good sweetheart, I'll let you rest, can't wait to hear about it tomorrow. Sleep tight baby." He was too good for me. I got under my covers and began to sob again. What on earth was I going to do? I jerked out of my thoughts when my phone went off again, it was a text of an unknown number. I opened the conversation and saw a video with a message, "You tell you die." The video was of me. I threw my phone against the wall as the tears streamed down my face. What happened tonight played over and over in my head, the pain, oh my god the fucking pain.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: :/

Word count: 1076