LA VIE EN ROSE // short stories

jakob - the realist

lol. I stopped believing in love when I was 15. and now karma's happening to me.

someone just asked to share the table with me, and now I'm getting God damn butterflies.

I glance at him who was sitting opposite me. his lips look rather... kissable. he's sipping his strawberry smoothie while looking at his phone and smiling. his girlfriend, perhaps.

he types something on his phone, still smiling. I begin to feel self-conscious and rub my bare arms. he looks up, noticing me glancing at him, and beams at me. 

I smile back awkwardly and look away. I can feel my cheeks turning rosy. "what's your name?" he asks and takes a sip of the smoothie. "me? jakob," I say. "with a k or a c?" he asks. 

did he actually ask that? no one has ever asked me that. "uh, k." "cool! name's lyndon, nice to meet you," he says, running a hand through his hair. "uh, nice to meet you too," I reply as calmly as possible. 

I visit the cafe every night just to see lyndon and entertain my fantasies a little. he visits the cafe every day too. 

we just keep glancing at each other and smiling and looking away, neither of us wanting to make a move. this went on for a whole year. 

until I go to the cafe and see lyndon leaning against the wall outside the cafe, smoking. with a melancholic look on his face. he looks like he's going to break. 

I hang around and decide to stand beside him. he nods at me. I smile. he offers me the cigarette he just smoked and I smoke it a little. 

he stares at me and sighs. then I see tears falling onto his sweater. I don't know what to say but I pull him close as I wrap my arm around his shoulder. 

he buries his head in my shoulder and wraps his arms around me. we just stand there for a while, holding each other.

then he lets me go as he walks into the cafe, head bowed low. I follow after him after I throw the cigarette on the ground and step on it. 

he takes a seat and I squeeze his hand as I go to order the drinks. a strawberry smoothie for him and a caramel macchiato for me. I walk back to the table with the drinks and he looks up. 

"how did you know what I wanted?" he asks, sipping the smoothie, and once again highlighting those lips. "uh... I always see you drinking it," I say, looking down. "here. $4," he pushes 4 dollar bills towards me. "it's on me," I say, pushing the bills back. "thank you," he says softly as he puts the money back into his wallet. he sips his smoothie and I drink my macchiato. 

"I came out as gay to my parents just now," he says, holding his cup with both hands. I nod. "my mum just sighed and went back to her room. my dad slapped me and told me to get out," he says, gulping.  

I suddenly have an urge to just grab his hand and tell him it will be okay. and that's what I do. "it'll be okay. you have me," I grip his hand. he stares into my eyes and smiles. "I have you," he repeats. 

I put my hands into my pockets as we walk home together. apparently, he stays nearby too. "do you believe in love?" he suddenly asks. "why?" I decided to ask.

 "just, do you?" he says again. "well, I don't know, but I am inclined towards thinking that love is just a hormones reaction," I reply, softly, as if afraid of his reaction. "what happened?" he says. 

"what?" "what happened to make you feel that it's just a hormones reaction, and nothing more?" "I..." I hesitate to tell lyndon.

"I fell in love with this guy when I was 15. I eventually told him about it. he ignored me after that. I eventually found out that he was gay, but his parents were homophobic. two weeks later, I saw him kissing this girl." 

a deep silence falls between the both of us and we just keep walking. unexpectedly, lyndon holds my hand and though I am shocked, we pretend as if nothing has happened. he rubs my fingers with his, and I can't help but blush.

"uh, hey, I've reached my house, do you want to come in..." I couldn't finish my sentence as lyndon's lips crash into mine. my pupils widen.

 I close my eyes and follow his lead, running my hand through his hair. I could smell the cigarette smoke as I follow the movement of his lips. I could feel myself blossoming into a flower. 

it's an epiphany as his insistent mouth parts my shaking lips. 

I feel like I'm tasting and seeing every single colour of the rainbow. up close.

 I stumble a little as he leans towards me, wrapping his arm tightly around my waist. 

he bites my lip slightly and I gasp. I smile a little as he puts his hand on my cheek, providing some reassurance. I bite his lip too and I feel him smile. 

the incarnation is complete.

"lyndon!" I hear someone calling his name and I immediately let go of him. 

it's his father. he walks towards us. "what do you think you're doing?" he shouts and slaps him.

I gasp. "you. stay away from him," he points at me and pushes me by the chest. he drags lyndon away with him by the arm. "call me! 754..." he couldn't finish as his father slaps him again. 

I feel tears burning my eyes. "I love you!" lyndon shouts and I had to see him get slapped again. "I love you too!" I shout back. 

I watch as the broken boy and his father fade into the darkness of the night.

I never saw him again.

I never loved again.