Useless necessities

3:21 am

Am

Here I am, lying awake, looking through your Facebook and seeing your new girl uploading pictures and I am mixed with a thousand different emotions. The logical side of me is happy for you and I hope you treat her right and I hope overall you are actually happy. Since your ex you were using me to get over is single and you didn't run back to her I assume you actually are, happy. But the emotional side of me wishes that I was the one to make you that happy, it hurts my heart that you never cared for me the way I did you. It makes me want to scream to the top of my lungs till I can't breath because loosing you felt that way, breathless, I thought  you were my oxygen, the way I breathed but it turns out you were more like a cigarette I breathed in, a nicotine high and oh boy did I smoke atleast twenty packs a day that's what it felt like being with you, You were my drug, my addiction, my high, my happiness. But like all drugs there is a come down, and you, leaving me was that come down. Now I'm trying to pick the pieces of like a drug addict, trying to stay away from you but there's something about you that will always make me look for you and search for you but I can never allow you back into my life, you'll either leave me high and dry or kill me. You were my drug and I was your victim. That's the type of love we had.

- h