confide in me • poetry

alive.

I just felt like a different person. Just... different. No, I couldn't feel the frequency of the sounds that radiated off my headsets, I didn't see graphical geometric figures everywhere I looked, I didn't imagine everything as byproducts of different genes or the interlinking of different neuro-transmission consciousness pathways. I didn't see clues to breaking program codes in everything, nor did I see the collision of atoms every time two people fell in love. Everything was the same. 

I was not.

I felt alive. 

I may not be seeing sparks in everything I looked at, but I surely was seeing sparks in my future. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, I was there, almost there. And nothing made me happier than thinking that I had made it. After ages spent in the isolation of the dark night, cowering  away from the uncertainty clouding my mind, the sun was final rising. And I was finally beginning to think that I could be at peace with the world again.

And when I did reach there, I felt different. Wholesome. New. Alive. And I loved it.

Sometimes, the demons that I failed to drown, threatened to come back. Threatened to throw me into the dark abyss once again. I fought again, I fought hard. And that's when I realised. Peace is overrated, it's the fighters who survive.

♡