Inside Out (discontinued)

Chapter 3

Idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish

{Mee}

Hey

You okay??

{Jenny}

Yea m fine

{Mee}

D'you want me to come over?

{Jenny}

Actually, Sam is here.... he's helping with my homework

{Mee}

Oh....okay then

C'ya tomo

{Jenny}

Sure ....Bye

{Mee}

Bye

I closed the chat and laid my head back on the couch. Leave it to Jenny to get a guy, even on her worst days. It wasn't hard to guess exactly what kind of homework Sam was helping with. The couch squeaked under me as I laid down. Nausea in my stomach had faded but it had been replaced by an equally painful headache. I couldn't even take any pills for it. I wouldn't. The smell of medicine, sickness, and bleached walls that came with it were enough to prevent me from taking any. 

Knowing it didn't come from the pill but from my own twisted recollections of the past just made it all the worse. ''Don't think about it'' I chided myself, but the memory had already invaded my head, pushing at my consciousness. I tried willing it to go back, far far away from where I would not remember it, but it had been a long, tiring day and I felt my walls crumble as I gave in to sorrow I'd buried so long ago....

[ Flashback ]

My pigtails were curling up in the heat and humidity, and I felt sweat trickling down my neck. Lola, my sister, was buying something at the medical center. I had wanted to go home early, but she had bribed me with a candy box. Being an innocent sugar-loving 6-year-old, I had gladly accepted them without any more complaints. I looked up to see her frown about something, her caramel highlights a stark contrast to her spiky dark brown hair, so unlike my dirty blonde waves. Cursing, she pulled out more paper that grown-ups called notes and grudgingly handed it to the guy at the counter, who took it and gave her a big bottle of colorful liquid in it. ''What's that? ''I asked Lola, eyeing the bottle warily, for medicine was every child's nightmare. Lola just smiled, but even I could see it was forced. ''It's medicine, Makayla'', she said, her lip ring trembling ''it makes the pain go away and helps people sleep for a long time''. I'd squealed at that. ''Is it a magical potion so you can go to Dreamland and stay happily ever after?!'' I asked, oblivious to her unshed tears. Her smile was sad and taunt as she watched me jump around excitedly. ''Yes. That's exactly what it is'', she had replied. I nodded, content with her reply as I hopped on ahead, carefree and happy in my own ignorant world.

How foolish I had been.

Later that day, my 18 year old sister was taken into the emergency room due to an overdose of dextromethorphan, more commonly known as cough syrup. They saved her just in time. She was kept under observation for a few days to ensure improving health, and thankfully she recovered well. The doctors had praised me, saying if I hadn't found her collapsed on the bathroom floor and screamed, it may have had been too late. But they were wrong.