왜 울지야? (Why Are You Crying?) [EXO Kai FANFIC]

제 01 장. Newbie

Yoo-Jeong's POV

Silently wishing, silently hoping, silently dreaming.. silently waiting. Another day had come and I have nothing else to do but to accept the fact that I'll be meeting a lot of troubles and mistakes that are prepared for me. I, too, is also ready for that. It is better to be prepared than to be hurt by that fact without any acceptance. I am ready to get hurt, I am ready to shed tears. It is better this way for me to at least ease the pain that is burning inside of me.

I stop from combing my hair as I let out a heavy sigh while staring at myself in the reflection of the mirror. I slowly put my comb down to my table with my lips curving with a smile. I properly arrange my necktie, "My name is Jang Yoo-Jeong, and I am ready to accept any pain." I bitterly smiled as I said that to myself.

As I arrive at school, I tighten the grip on the slings of my bag while biting the inside of my cheeks. Entering our classroom as I carefully close the door, I made sure that it would never catch my classmates' attention, but it was only at first.

"Oh look who had finally come." One of them said it out loud. I only lower my head and silently went to where my seat is, at the very back of the class.

"The poorest of the poorest." Another one said as I am starting to release their words to my other ear, pretending that I am not hearing anything. "And you still have that confidence to enter in this school? Sluts, whores, prostitutes, murderers, and pretending to be innocent is strictly not allowed in here!" I hardly shut my eyes with my fingers lock together above my desk.

It's okay, Yoo-Jeong. You are not hearing anything. Just imagine it as if they are just nothing in your sense of sight and hearing. It will be okay.

I let out a silent sigh and decided to open a book to read instead of hearing their nonsense. "Don't you close your ears to us! We know that you killed Mr. Kim! You deserve to be in jail right now, you whore!" I shut my eyes again as I can feel my hands forming into fists. They did not know anything. They should never tell nonsense that easily for they did not know what exactly happened!

"You deserve a punishment!" Another one shouted as I can see that she is pointing at me. I am Jang Yoo-Jeong, 23 years old. I have an older brother and no friends, not even one. We don't have any relatives either, maybe there is, but I don't think they will show themselves to us now that we needed their help.

I am being bullied, insulted, and humiliated everyday, it's already a routine of my life.

Sometimes I thought that.. it would be better if I'll disappear in this world. I tried several times of committing suicide, but God still gave me a chance to live. I know that He has a purpose why I am still alive right now.

And sometimes I ask Him, why me? Out of billions of people in this world, why me? Why do I have to be in this difficult situation where I am being abandoned and left alone with no one comforting me when I needed it? Do I really deserve this?

I know that committing suicide is a very huge and serious sin, but I had enough of my life. I am so tired of the insults and bully. I am so depressed that I don't have any time to at least smile for a bit, a real smile and not fake. I never experience how to be so happy, I've never experience happiness and only loneliness has been my best friend.

I hope God will grant me my only wish, I wish to be with Him, so that I'll be in peace.

"What is the commotion here?" I slowly lift my gaze to find our professor for our first subject with such furious face towards my classmates. He eyed me for a second and gave his attention back to them, "Do I really have to repeat this all the time?! Strictly no bullying is allowed in this school, you all know that! This is all your last warning and if ever this happens again, I will never hesitate to report this to the president of Supreme Student Council! Are we all clear?"