"When I look at you I see colour..."
-One Republic
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Today was the day they're going to have their first concert in Japan. Their energy was over the top, excited chatter filled the gaps which usually is painted with silence and exhaustion. Well, at least three out of four members are actually excited about it. Her sunflower, she realised, was just pretending to be as excited as the others to not destroy the jolly atmosphere. She frowned a little, wondering what might have caused her sunshine this bad mood so early in the day.
Physically she looked fine, moving so energetically it was as if she was high on sugar. Anyone would have believe that little façade but not her. Not when the bags under her eyes were more prominent than ever, even the layers of makeup had failed to conceal it properly, leaving traces of exhaustion on her otherwise happy go lucky persona. Her smile wasn't that genuine either. Honestly speaking, the corners of her mouth barely reached her eyes. Their stylist had asked prior to getting themselves ready for the concert, about her seemingly extreme fatigue. She had brushed it off easily, saying she had slept late due to the nervous energy compiled for their first ever concert in Japan.
What an excuse...
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It was just minutes before they went upstage that the accident happened. The royal maknae of BLACKPINK whom was standing upright just minutes before, came crashing down to the floor. The whole room was silent, somehow too shocked to even react, though it didn't stay for long. The tense atmosphere was broken by none other than the royal maknae herself. She let out a pained chuckle as she struggled to sit upright. Manager oppa got out of his stupor and rushed to her aid, circling his hand over her petite frame to help her up.
"I tripped over thin air," she joked with a smile that honestly looked more like a wince. She struggled to stand for a few moments, before finally succeeding to stay upright with the help of Chaeyoung.
"Are you okay, Lisa?"
"I'm fine, oppa..."
Lies, it's all just lies...
Why are you always lying?
Manager oppa didn't fail to shoot her a look full of concern, afraid that she might just be forcing herself too hard. Her legs were a little shaky, but it was nothing Lalisa Manoban couldn't handle. She straightened her posture and gave him a more convincing smile, hoping he'd believe it this time and just not worry about her wellbeing.
Smile a little wider Lisa, if you're going to pretend at least make it convincing, stupid...
She's okay after all, right?
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Entry # 131
December 24th 2018
I know you're lying. But why? Why do you always feel the need to please other so much? You're hurting like that's fucking obvious even to the whole wide world. You fell and somehow that wasn't an indication of you struggling behind those smiles. Do you take me as a dumb person, Lisa-yah?
I'm mad, so fucking mad, maybe not at you, or maybe just a little. I'm mad at the world, at everyone, how can they not notice? I'm just. I'm just trying to help Lisa-yah but you always kept everyone around you at arm's length. You build your wall so high, that no one can climb it. It must've been so lonely in that castle, hasn't it?
I promise I'll try, to chip away at your indestructible armour so maybe, just maybe you'll feel less alone. Because, someone is there, on the other side of the wall trying to get to you. I'm here Lisa-yah, I'm here.
