Wake up and smell the coffee
Is your cup half full or empty?
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In the days nearing the end of December, of nearing the end of 2018, we could see two figures huddled together near the fireplace of their dorm with a cup of hot chocolate in hand. Words were not exchanged as they both stared outside the window looking at the first snow fall. Tranquillity painted the scene in pretence calmness, one heart was getting distant and the other was not even aware of the occurrence. Growing lonelier and cold as the moment passed, for she was unable to fully open her heart to the world, to the person right beside her.
'What is it that make you believe it's me?'
That kind of thought came more often than she liked to admit. But the faux mask of happiness she long had on never really gave a choice for her to speak the truth, the bitter words of those insecurities and hatred. Positivity was key to everything, her tired mind didn't have any energy left to believe otherwise. The burden of being happy, of being true was sometimes too much to bear for her worn down body. The eye bags, hollowed cheeks and slumped shoulder said so. It had gotten so hard to the point where even letting out a small sigh needed more effort than lying.
She was not and will never be a perfect being, that much could be said about her, about Lisa, the idol so many people looked up to. The ever so kind BLACKPINK member who was born in a small country called Thailand. What could she do? She never knew, never guessed, until it all played out for her. Passing through the audition, being a trainee, and now a member of a successful k-pop girl group.
'What can a poor ol' Lisa can do?'
A pity party, something she disliked greatly yet couldn't help but experienced it more times than not. She got everything didn't she? A wonderful family, 3 best friends/ sisters, and a beautiful and understanding girlfriend whom she daresay was a wondrous gift for her feeble self. She struggled to understand and Jisoo would always be there to explain everything to her, slowly not even missing a single word. Jisoo was always so perfect that at times Lisa felt like she couldn't catch up. Because she was always standing on the edge, always trying so fucking hard to at least get a grip on her barely put together persona. Lisa didn't have anything left to give, for she was afraid that maybe even her best was just not enough, not that she even showed all those thorns to anyone. They never really knew her, because she never tried to spread her wings, her beautiful wings that laid frail from years of being unused.
As if noticing the dark turn her mind was going, a soft squeeze greeted her rough ones. The dainty hands seemingly pure from all that was bad and evil of this world. Delicately soothing the numerous worries plaguing her mind.
She turned her head to face the warm coffee brown eyes staring back at her. She smiled, a genuine one, not big enough to show her teeth but gentle in her own fashion, grateful. And somehow,
it felt like enough.
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A kind of quietness surrounded them, Jisoo missed it so much. With all the things happening, their Asia tour and hectic schedules, it was bordering on being straight up chaotic. This lulling silence was a welcomed change. A warm cup of hot chocolate in hand and the warmth of their body curled up to each other combined with the comfortable weight of Lisa's head resting on her chest as she ran her fingers through her ash brown hair. She decided, there was nowhere else she would rather be.
Jisoo never questioned Lisa's feelings for her. It was obvious from the "sneaky" glances Lisa threw her when she wasn't looking. She noticed of course but she pretended not to so as to not wound Lisa's pride of being a ninja.
