I'm just his Best Friend [Steve Rogers]

Empty

I gasp sitting up  remembering what happen I look around my surroundings and see Steve and Bucky standing there talking to Peggy. I stand up feeling a little weak in the legs but I brush it off, Steve is the first one to see me stand up and he walks over to me and pulls me into a tight hug

"I'm fine" I say and I feel him chuckle

"Sure you are" he says
"I am I'm ready for are next mission" I say
"Your not going" said Howard walking towards us
"What why" I say
"Well your serum had a different affect to your and I added something more to yours so I wanted to get you tested" he says and I get angry
"And you didn't tell me before" I say making sure he knows I'm angry
"Well you would've said no" he says and I just roll my eyes
"Whatever let's just get this over with" I sigh I hug Bucky and Steve wishing them good luck on there mission and I walk with Howard

We walk into the lab and he told me to take my coat off
"Why didn't you tell me about the serum mostly why did you choose me" I say and he chuckles

"It's been three months with the serum in you and now your asking why you" he questions and I just shrugged

"I don't know when I was a kid I knew never ask question unless..." I just stop talking he looks at me

" I know about your past Lydia or Amelia" he says and I turn around

"You know nothing" I say

"Are your sure cause the star on your shoulder blades make it very true" he says

"Ok so what are you going to do capture me torture me and ask where my father is cause I have no idea where he is" I say and he just shakes his head

"The reason why I gave you this serum is so you can give revenge for what your father did" he says

"So what else is in this serum" I say looking down

"The basic of you can't get drunk or age or other things that's what Steve also has but you have one thing that makes yours different once you know how to find it you have telekinesis" he says I just laugh

"No that's just in the story's there's no such thing as telekinesis" I say still laughing and he just looks at me and I stop laughing

"I'm not kidding Lydia you just need to find the trigger it either be sadness, anger, or pain" he says I just stare at him

"Well that's interesting.. can we just go on with the test" I ask and he nods and pulls out a needle. God I hate needles.

We get done with the experiments and I'm sitting Peggy chatting waiting for the boys to get back
"So I see you have been eyeing Steve lately" she says and my heart stops
"How did you know" I ask cautiously
"Sweetie I see how you look at him and hug him" she says and I feel my cheeks get red
"Well it doesn't matter he likes you I could tell" I look down at my hands and I see Peggy put her hands on mine I look up
"Give it time" she says and I smiled. Then a guy runs to Peggy whispering in her head and she looks at me with sadness and I knew something is wrong I stand up and walk out of the room and I hear them call my name out but I ignore him. I see Steve standing there looking all sad I stop to look for Bucky I call out his name and everyone gets quiet. I run to Steve
"Steve where's Bucky" I ask and he stays quiet
"Steve this isn't time for jokes" I try to laugh it off but he looks down then a pain in my heart I back away from him
"No this is fake right he's just talking to someone right now. No this can't be he promise he would return no" I say starting to cry everyone is looking at me
"What are just standing around for huh nothing's wrong Bucky is not dead" ouch that hit me hard I run out of the room hearing Steve come after me. Once I saw no one I broke down sobbing. He was suppose to here it was suppose to be the three together. I felt someone arms wrap around me and we just cried until we had no tears left.

After a while we eventually stop crying and we were sitting there in completely silent I had a bottle of whisky that I was chugging it down while Steve was just sipping on a beer. I felt like nothing with make me feel better I just felt empty inside. I hear Peggy walk into the room she puts and hand on my should

"Dr. Erskine said that... the serum wouldn't just effect our muscles, it would effect the cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means um... We can't get drunk. Did you know that?" Steve says

"Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person." She says sitting down

"It wasn't your fault Steve" she says and looks and me " and neither it's yours" she adds

"Did you read the report" I ask she nods

"Then you know it's not true" I say

"Lydia it wasn't your fault" Steve speaks up

"If I was there I could've stop what ever the hell happened on the train Bucky would still be alive if I could of help" I say getting angry and the bottle of whisky of flys across the room and we all jump and they look at me

"Congrats you triggered it" Steve says and Peggy nods

"What you guys knew" I said

"Howard told us but wanted us not to tell" he says and I just nod

"I'm goin' after Schmidt. I'm not gonna stop till all of Hydra is dead or captured." He adds

"I'm coming with" I say and he looks at me

"No your not" he starts but I cut him off

"Last time you said that Bucky died you think I'm letting you died hell not I am" I say and I walk out of the room.