I forget what I meant by eventful whoops
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"See if you can play this song." Luke handed me a sheet of music. Ashton and Michael were here for my 'test' and I had improved. Lets just say I could play twinkle twinkle little star like a pro.
The song had a nice melody I could tell just by reading it. But Luke suggested I switch to an acoustic. I nodded and went to fetch it.
~
"I liked it." I admitted, "What was it called?"
"Amnesia."
"Lyrics?"
"Yeah. Working on it." Luke diverted his eyes.
"Boys! The most important thing is, We're going on tourrrr!" Michael chanted.
I smiled as they all cheered, because I didn't know if I was ready. Our first tour. "Who's opening?" I asked.
"Dunno." Ashton said, "ATL would be good." We went around the circle.
"Greenday!" Michael shouted, and yeah, like that would so happen.
"Pass." I opted, because I really didn't know who to say.
"Sher?" Luke said, and oh god, her again, but then again she wasn't really that bad, it was all in my head honestly.
"So far All time low and Sher are our only choices, sorry Michael. But I don't think All time low would, you know? So many countries. So little time." I said. "We can ask, but I haven't talked to them in like a year." I honestly said.
"True. But one singular act isn't enough if we go with Sher. She's a softer type right? We need something a little more energetic." Ashton spoke back, he was right. We need someone the audience will be really hyped up for too.
"Pros and Cons. I hate this." I whined.
Management loved it, they thought it was a great idea, I mean, more money right? We talked about our dilemma with them and they decided they would get a new, fresh face, or, faces. They agreed that an upbeat, band similar to us would do great.
~
"What's up with 1D?" I asked a bit later, Ashton almost choked on his tea. He set it down carefully and coughed loudly.
"One direction?"
"Yeah, who else?"
"Um, one direction is sadly no longer."
That's when I started choking, "You're kidding."
"No," Michael started, "Zayn died and then-"
"He what?" My pulse quickened. No way.
"It happened so fast, he was so young you know, the weed got to him, so depressed. He thought he lost one of his best friends."
I was the reason, great. One of my best friends died, because of me.
"It all went down hill, I was debating whether to tell you. The truth always hurts." Luke said hesitant, Ashton urged him to go on. "One more thing-" I nodded, "Ashton has to say-"
"We're joking, calm down."
I was relieved yet angry at myself.I don't know what to believe anymore because I'm afraid of my own mind. What I think is wrong is right and vise versa.
I cracked a smile and pushed Ashton aside playfully. I did miss them, though it seems as if I was only gone for one day. It seems like yesterday Ashton was out snogging Hannah.
Oh how time flys.
~
After they left, I went to go get the mail, as one does of course. I slipped my sneakers on, ignoring the pain in my skull. I bent down to tie them. I was having a harder time with them, it was very unusual. As I tried again I became more frustrated. As I became more frustrated, my hands started to shake. After attempt number 6, I gave up and tucked my laces into my shoes. I couldn't perform the easiest tasks, like my mind aged backwards as I was enjoying my slumber. I hated my shoes, for being so stupid, I hated myself for being so stupid.
I felt petty blaming my own mistakes on an inanimate object. For the next few days I just avoided my obstacles. Not even looking at the red Vans I failed at lacing up.
Everywhere I went, greeting fans, buying food, I always looked at their feet. If they can do it why can't I? I thought it was amusing, how people strive to be rich, talented and famous, so blasè from their own luxurious life that others would die for, they don't understand that the privileged want things that they take for granted.
It's like a cycle, first it's greed, the little spark that lets you want so much, more and more, whether it be attention, money, or likes on a dumb picture. Then it's being oblivious of what you have, becoming more greedy, lastly it's understanding of what you have, and wanting it to be normal again. You hate what you do and loose your passion. If you're lucky to get that 'normalness' you don't want it anymore, you want whatever you had before back. So you repeat the cycle.
And I'm determined to break that cycle.
_________
(: Thanks for reading. -Hannah
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Panic ✥Kiss Me Sequel✥
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