Hex

Chapter 1

     "No."

     "Well, you see, the thing is, that wasn't really a question, Mom."

     "You are not dropping out of college to chase some wild dream." Both of my parents sat across from me on the yellow couch in the living room in our home in upstate New York. It was late summer, about a week before I had to go back to for my junior year of college. The coffee table between the couch and the chair that I currently occupied held three untouched coffees. This little meeting that I had rehearsed in my head over and over again was not going as I had planned.

     "Mom, I'm not dropping out of college, I just want to change my major from pre-med to something more musical. Look, I've got it all planned out, I'm just going to transfer from Dartmouth to NYU, and-"

     "Now, you're talking about leaving Dartmouth? No, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I will not allow it."

     "But mom," I was trying to sound mature and adult in this situation, but it came out much more like the teenage whines that I was trying so hard to get away from.

     "No buts. We provide for you, and we're paying for your education, so you follow our rules," my mother was yelling now. I'd never seen her so mad.

     "Dad?" I asked, but the way I whispered it, we both knew it was more like a beg than a question.

     He stayed silent, offering me no help, and instead opted to let my overly strict mother do the talking. "Vienna Marie Key, you go back to school and you finish these last two years. You will graduate from Dartmouth and then go to medical school and become a doctor, just like your father and I." She was standing now, seeming to tower over me, even though she wasn't a tall woman.

     I stood up too. "Mom, this isn't what I want. I hate science, I really do, and I hate Dartmouth too. Please, let me try and pursue music." There was no way I was going back to Dartmouth. I was louder now. I was standing my ground.

     "Fine."

     My heart dropped. What the hell was fine supposed to mean? That was probably the scariest thing she could have said to me in that moment. "What?" The word barely came out.

     "You can do whatever you want, it is your life, after all. But you do this, you leave Dartmouth to sing or whatever your fruitless and naive hopes are, and you also leave this family. There is no coming back after that. And, good luck transferring, because you're cut off. No more tuition payments, no more credit cards. Do you hear me?"

     "Loud and clear, mom," I said, my eyes welling up with tears, as I looked down at my shoes. Out of all the times I played this in my head, it never ended like this. I could have never imagined it ending like this. I swallowed hard and met her eyes again. "But I have to follow my dreams. I have to do this." I took a step closer to her, praying for her to change her mind, praying for her to pull me into her arms and tell me that it was going to be okay.

     She didn't. Her voice was firm and unwavering, her jaw drawn tightly. "Get your things and get out." She walked out of the living room and into the kitchen, leaving me standing in the middle of the room, with tears running down my cheeks and my mouth open in shock about what just happened. I slowly turned to face my dad. He sighed, refusing to make eye contact with me, and then stood up and followed my mother out.

     "Well, consider me fucked," I said to myself, wiping the tears and mascara off of my cheeks, before heading up the stairs to pack my things.

     I knew I couldn't bring much, so I packed myself a suitcase and a backpack of my essentials and went on my way. When I went back downstairs to exit the house, both of my parents were gone, no note, no nothing, just gone.