Empty Gold - {ryden}

9. Morii

9. morii (noun) - the desire to capture a fleeting experience

When Ashley was done with all of her songs, she came to sit and talk with the rest of the Empty Gold crew, letting them compliment her on how well she did before they all launched into normal conversation. Dominic had come to sit with them after he had done the two songs with Ashley, introducing himself to Ryan and getting caught in conversation with him about his art style and deciding he was "definitely giving him his next tattoo."

As the night quickly turned into the early hours of the morning, everyone called it quits and bid their goodbyes as they left the small bar. Ryan thanked Patty for going with him to the show before setting off in the direction of his apartment. He had barely taken ten steps when someone was calling his name. He turned to see Brendon jogging to catch up with him and he laughed softly. "You lose something, Bren?"

Brendon smiled as he caught up to him and laughed as he caught his breath. "Yeah," he said, sounding genuinely interested as he put his hand up. "He's about this tall, brown hair, golden brown eyes, way to skinny..."

Ryan playfully slapped Brendon's shoulder and shook his head as he laughed. "Don't be mean," he said, pouting as he turned to walk away.

Brendon caught up with him again. "My apologies, Ryan Ross," he said softly. "May I make it up to you by walking you home?"

Ryan looked like he was thinking deeply, making a small hum as he looked to Brendon. The older male was pouting playfully but he also looked incredibly sincere that it made Ryan's resolve dissipate completely. He sighed gently, but smiled. "Of course you can walk me home."

Brendon smiled widely at that, falling into step beside Ryan, their elbows brushing slightly every now and again. "So," Brendon cut through the comfortable silence, "did you have a good time tonight?"

Ryan smiled and nodded. "I really did," he said softly. "I felt - really included. Not to say I didn't feel included before, because every one of them are genuinely incredible people, but I felt like an actual part of the group tonight. It's a nice feeling to fit into something again."

Brendon nodded, smiling happily. "That's good to hear," he responded. "They've taken quite a liking to you, you know? They talk very highly of you. You're a genuinely incredible person as well, Ryan Ross. Special, some might even say."

Ryan blushed slightly, ducking his head as to hide his smile. "Never had someone think I was special before," he said softly. "Don't really know how I feel about it."

Brendon looked concerned for a moment. "Is it at least a positive feeling?"

Ryan looked at Brendon and nodded softly. "Definitely a positive feeling."

Brendon smiled back at the shorter man. "Then that's what matters."

The pair walked a little ways in silence, but Ryan's mind was running at a hundred miles an hour. The feeling that things were too good at the moment was ruining him and he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. He sighed gently and started shaking his head, feeling somewhat overwhelmed. "Brendon," he started, "why is all of this happening?"

Brendon looked extremely confused as he looked at Ryan curiously. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

Ryan sighed again, this time sounding frustrated as he ran a hand through his hair. "All my life," he said, squeezing his eyes shut briefly, "good things didn't just.. happen to me. I didn't get good grades in school, nobody appreciated my art... Everyone thought I was crazy for wanting to be a tattoo artist. Not even joking, everyone told me I'd be throwing my future away if I didn't pick a profession that was socially acceptable. No one understood that those things wouldn't have made me happy. And those are just the lighter things that didn't go in my favor, and yet... Now, not only have I gotten a job doing something I actually wanted, but I've made a dozen new friends, and you want me to go to a New York City tattoo convention with you, and I just... I'm having a hard time believing that any of this is real. Why- why are these good things happening to me? And why now?"

Brendon looked genuinely sad for the smaller man in front of him. Ryan looked like he was going to spill tears at any moment, and Brendon hated that. He reached forward and grabbed Ryan by his shoulders before pulling him into a tight hug, feeling him immediately hug back. "Ryan Ross," Brendon said, voice sounding far away but close at the same, "you know the age old question of why bad things always happen to good people?" Ryan nodded against Brendon's chest, prompting Brendon to speak again. "Contrary to popular belief, good things happen to good people, too. Sometimes the good comes in spurts, sometimes it comes all at once, but it does happen. And, in my opinion, the better a person is, the more good happens for them. You're such a good person, Ryan Ross, and you deserve all of the good that's coming your way. Don't worry your pretty little head with the 'why.' Just focus on where it's taking you."

Ryan nodded against Brendon again, feeling the knot in his chest unraveling as he pulled away and wiped at his face. "Sorry I got heavy on you," he said softly. "I just had to talk to someone about it. My best friend understands where I'm coming from, but you can never trust her to take anything seriously."

Brendon smiled softly, deciding to lighten the mood. "I'm not your best friend?"

Ryan rolled his eyes and started walking again. "My best friend from home, Bren," he answered. "Also, if any of you guys are my best friend, it's Patty."

Brendon stood in place for a moment, mouth hung open in shock before he started jogging up to Ryan again. "I'm not giving you the friendship bracelet I made for you then!"

* * *

Within the next thirty minutes, they made it to Ryan's apartment and were standing under the covered walkway again. Brendon smiled as Ryan fished his keys from his pocket. "Always a pleasure walking you home, Ryan Ross," he said softly, smiling brighter as Ryan laughed.

"Always a pleasure being walked home by you, Brendon," Ryan said back, shaking his head softly.

As Ryan looked up to say goodnight to Brendon, something stopped him from speaking. His throat didn't exactly feel like it was closing up, but he definitely couldn't speak in that very second. His and Brendon's eyes locked and, just like the other day when Ryan opened the shop, they were both moving closer to each other. He wasn't sure who surged forward first, but Brendon's lips were touching his before he could realize it and when Brendon's hands cupped his face gently, he melted into the soft kiss, his hands resting on Brendon's wrists.

The kiss only lasted a few moments, but the two men were panting softly as they pulled away and pressed their foreheads together. It didn't stay quiet for long, the silence being broken by Brendon whispering, "Have dinner with me tomorrow night."

Ryan didn't even hesitate to nod, biting his lip as he opened his eyes and pulled back slightly, looking into Brendon's eyes.

Brendon smiled gently, one hand going under Ryan's chin as he placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Goodnight, Ryan Ross," he whispered before turning away and walking in the direction of his apartment. Ryan let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, his fingers coming up to touch his lips.

"Don't think about the 'why,'" Brendon's voice echoed in his head, "just focus on where it's taking you."