The Song Remembers When

(7) Can We Talk..

That night she was laying in her bed as she wiped tears. Bucky was laying next to Kaylee waiting for her to fall asleep. Once he knew that she was asleep he snuck out quietly and went upstairs. He knocked on Amelia's door hoping she was still awake. 

She opened her door and he said "Can we talk please..I know you are hiding something." 

She sighed and let him in then she shut the door. He sat down on her bed and she walked over to him. She looked down and he lifted her chin. " Millie I know it hurt when I broke up with you we were each other's first relationship but darlin you know that I never meant to hurt you." he whispered 

She tried to blink away tears and he said "I know that you were mad and hurt." as he wiped away the tears that fell.

"I thought...um I thought you didn't find me pretty enough for you anymore cause you um.. you started to date Bailey Ann the captain of the cheer squad and um.. so I went down a downward spiral of trying to find a um reason of why you didn't love me anymore. I thought that I was fat so I became bulimic then it was my glasses so I got contacts and quit wearing my glasses. My mom started to notice that I was going to the bathroom after dinner and she found me making myself throw up after dinner one night. So she sent me to therapy." she said as she looked down. 

"Millie.. I never would change a thing about you. " he said he lifted her chin. He rested his forehead against hers and he whispered "I only broke up with you cause me and you have always been friends first and sometimes our relationship felt less like that more of just still being friends granted yes I kissed you and held your hand but I also was starting to like Bailey Ann because of it and I didn't want to hurt you." 

She closed her eyes and he said "But that doesn't explain to me why you are so angry with me." 

"I'm not angry at you.. I'm angry that I it's stupid..sometimes it's hard to get over someone when they are constantly around. Which is why I wasn't playing as much or I would just play in my room. And as far as last night and this morning I.. have to remember that you do have girlfriend and we haven't played since you and I dated so I don't know how to act around you when it comes to it all. Maybe I should go back to not being around." she said 

"Oh darlin I hate singing without you. I know you were mad cause you were having fun and I blew it cause I was trying to get her to leave you alone. She had been cutting you dirty looks since we sang the first duet and I just wanted her to stop. " Bucky whispered 

"You should go before she wakes up and notices you are gone." she whispered

"I don't want to go just yet.." he whispered 

"Well you can't stay in here we will get in trouble if you do. I'm not your girlfriend anymore Buck.." she whispered

"Will you come downstairs with me?' he whispered 

 "Why?' she whispered

"To play with me" he whispered "I miss playing with you." 

"Okay." she whispered 

They left her room and went down to the family room and unplugged her keyboard and his guitars and he said "Come here" as they sat down on the couch and he played the duet version of "You are the reason." 

"Can you play it?' he whispered 

She started to play her keys as she closed her eyes and she started to sing her part. After they played it and sing along they put everything up and sat down on the couch. "We can practice more songs tomorrow. " he said 

"Okay.." she said 

"You scared me Millie.. I thought you were going to tell me that you tried to kill yourself." he sad as he tucked some hair behind her ear. She looked down and said "I thought about it.. that's how far down I went cause I really liked you and I thought we were going to be like our parents." 

"Oh Millie.. " he said 

"But to be fair I was 12 and I still believed in santa claus and the tooth fairy so maybe I wasn't the best girlfriend after all." she said 

He let out a laugh at her comment about Santa claus and he said 'You were the best girlfriend that a 12 year old could be. " 

She smiled and looked down. 

He lifted her chin and he whispered "Please tell me that's not why you wanted to be excused at dinner." 

"Oh no.. um I just this trip really sucks..I'm not having any fun I mean I had fun last night. But I'm still hurt that Casey cheated and having to be around all of you all it kinda makes me feel left out. Granted Becca and Alexis are here with out  their boyfriends but I .. but no that's not why I left. .I haven't done in almost a year and half. Your parents know why my parents said to wait till I was at a good place to be around you like this." she said 

"Amelia Grace you are beautiful baby doll please don't ever think other wise okay.." he said 

"I'm trying.. but when the first guy I date after you cheats on me cause I  don't feel beautiful for sex so I told him I wasn't ready." she said as she wiped tears and shook her head.

"Millie.. baby doll get that thought out of your head right now please that's why you ran out of the pool and haven't been back in since. " he said as he rested his forehead against hers again and he whispered "We should go back to bed before we get caught." 

"Yeah." she whispered. 

They walked back he kissed her cheek and went into his room and quietly got back in bed. He laid there in the dark and wiped a tear that fell everybody kept her secret including his best friend and he wanted to know why. But as he laid there he thought back on the last two years how many times he saw her leave the lunch room and come back popping gum and peppermints in her mouth like nothing was wrong like she had gone to the bathroom and came back to lunch. How many times he saw her tell coach she needed a new cheer uniform cause she lost so much weight. How reclusive she became after they broke up. He put his back to Kaylee as he quietly cried himself to sleep she was in so much pain and he couldn't even see it and she was his best friend too.