Christian's Yearning

CH25

~ uncertainty ~

While Ana slept, Christian called James Smith, head of his PR group to request and authorize a press release to confirm that Anastasia Steel is indeed Christian’s girlfriend.

Mr. Smith was ecstatic and agreed immediately, offering different wording for the occasion. Christian insisted in the simplest “Yes, we are able to confirm that Miss Anastasia Steel is indeed Mr. Christian Grey’s girlfriend” also, Christian requested that Mr. Smith coordinate with VNY’s PR office. VNY had called Ana and verified the statement. By the time breakfast was over, there were paparazzi all over both their apartments.

At the moment, they are headed to Seattle onboard of Christian’s private jet; he has a full work day scheduled at GEH for tomorrow. Ana is planning on visiting with her dad and Kate and Jose, not necessarily in that order.

Christian looks over to Ana, her head resting against the window; her eyes lost searching for something outside. She claims she wants to read; yet her laptop is untouched. He is pretty sure she has not moved the cursor in hours.

“Stop it” he admonishes. She looks over to him her big eyes overly wide “you are over thinking, Ana.” He continues with a softer voice. The smart-mouth-minx-girlfriend he found in New York is becoming the introverted lip-biting quiet girl he met in Seattle. Ana’s transformation is rather unsettling to Christian. The further away they are from New York the worse it becomes. “Out with it, tell me.”

Ana pinches the bridge of her nose and shakes her head. Her sad eyes adverted to the window; her computer on her lap untouched for hours now. She is looking out the window as if the white and grey clouds outside hold the answer.

Christian is getting exasperated and with the wave of his hand he calls Tatum over.

“Coffee.” He is short because his patience gone. “Anastasia?”

“Ummm… oh, hot tea” and she continues to look out the window.

Once Tatum sets the drinks, Christian tries to engage Ana once more. “Mom wants us for Sunday brunch this weekend. Would you like to come?”

She finally smiles, “yes, that will be good.”

- and she goes back to staring out at that damn window!

“Ana, what is it? ... you said no secrets!” His voice is sad, full of trepidation and worry. He reaches for her hand and gives her what he hopes is a reassuring squeeze.

“I am afraid.” She finally answers with a small voice, barely a whisper. If he had not been paying attention, he would have missed it.

At that moment Christian’s stomach burns – is she afraid of him? Of being his girlfriend? Of the paparazzi? Is someone threatening her? He twists his torso to capture her face with both his hands. “Tell me who or what. I’ll protect you!”

She smiles briefly, “I am afraid that the bubble, we have been living in is about to burst when the real world … your world … Seattle.” She is incapable of forming any cohesive words let alone sentences.

“Is this about Elena?”

“No… well partially, maybe.”

“I told you, I’ll meet her. You don’t have to be there with me. It is up to you. I wanted you to know. I just -”

"I know” and she turns to observe the clouds once again.

“Ana.”

“I have enjoyed our relationship in New York, Christian. Now, though we are going back… back to a world…” She is quiet for a few minutes, drinks her tea, and finally finds her voice once more “… a world with ex-subs, guns and red rooms… were you are master of your universe, detached in an ivory tower.” A world where I am number sixteen, but she doesn’t say that out loud “… maybe I should have gone to Paris instead.”