Lost In The Game

XXVI

Back At The House

I stayed out with Morgan longer than I had planned. It's one o'clock in the morning and I'm trying to sneak into the house. I carefully unlocked the front door and turned around to shut it and lock it. When I turned back around, I came face to face with Jordaan.

"What are you still doing here?" I whispered before trying to go upstairs.

"I laid in your bed and pretended to be you. But why do you have two pair of the same heels though?" she asked while I rolled my eyes.

"Move Jordaan pleasee. I don't wanna get caught," I said slowly trying to walk around her.

"No sis. Did you not see me nod my head? Go stand by the kitchen and listen."

As skeptical as I was, I went to the door and stood off to the side. I didn't know who was in there but all the voices were whisper-yelling.

"I only told her how we weren't in a relationship. She deserves to know everything. She's coming up in the age where she's gonna wanna know allll these answers. Stop putting her off because if she comes to me about it again. I'm giving her to the truth. Flat out," I heard my daddy say.

"Jordan, you're selfish. How was I supposed to know you had a girlfriend huh?" My momma asked, sounding as if she was gonna cry.

"Nicole, don't fucking start crying. I didn't tell you I had a girlfriend, I told you I had a wife and you still pursued me. What drunken man is gonna say no to free pussy? Me and you was a mistake. Our twins? They weren't planned but I love them like they are. Demyya's gonna hate me before she hates you. You wouldn't even let me have her. You gave Jordaan to me and Danielle and told me to leave you alone. I fought for Demyya. I FOUGHT FOR HER!" he yelled slamming his fist down on something.

I didn't know I was crying until Damien handed me a tissue. I looked up and Jurnee, Damien and Jordaan were staring at me. My momma lied to me all these years. Because of her being selfish, I didn't know my dad. I was raped by a man she loved because she was selfish. All the hurt I had built up, was slowly coming out in tears.

"Jordan calm down, the kids are here," Ms. April said quietly.

"Just come clean to her Deanna. If she hates me, I'll be fine with that. As long as she doesn't hate you right? She just needs you right?" I heard my daddy boots as he walked away but then they stopped. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would pop out of my chest.

"Deanna? Do you know she told me she hated me before she actually got to know me? She told me I wasn't there for her school dances. She even told me she was raped by a nigga you was married to. Tell me why don't she deserve to know the truth? Huh? They'll be seventeen in two weeks and before then she better know. Or I'm telling her myself."

I looked at Jordaan who pushed me closer to the door. "Go," she whispered and pushed me closer.

I stepped into the kitchen to see Ms. April, Deanna, and my daddy. They all stared at me like they saw a deer in the headlights. I swallowed the lump in my throat and hoped and prayed I didn't cry right now.

"There's no need for you to tell me anything. I know everything now. You lied to me for years. You forced me to live in the fucked up life we had because of your own selfish reasons. I got raped, penetrated, abused; physically, sexually, mentally and emotionally. And you ain't have the audacity to even tell me I had a real father out there that wanted me?" I shook my head as tears threatened to fall. "Jordaan my twin or not?"

My momma just sat there looking up at me. Usually, when I see her cry, I go into protective daughter mode. But today, she deserves to cry. She allowed me to suffer for years. When things turned sour for her with Michael, she could've sent me to stay with my daddy but she didn't.