A Fire Within

Who Deserves Love

He makes me mad
So mad I cannot even think straiggt
His egocentric behavior grows when he thinks he needs to prove a point
He probably thinks he is macho, I do not know
All I know is, he pushed me away
Crushed me and dance all over my heart
He seems pleased with his actions
I want to to tell him to go to hell
But I cannot seem to get the right way to say it
I want to yell that he is being mean
And I cant
I want to tell him to stop comparing me to whoever fits whatever idea is his head at a time
That his past is irrelevant now
That I have a past that I prefer not to talk about
Not because I'm ashamed, no
See I know how to be considerate, I am here not there
I can't tell him how much he hurts me for all the things he says
How much he breaks me for fighting dirty
How much I hate it that he does not seem to care
How much it kills me that I still forgive him even when he didn't apologise
How I assume it is going to be better when he clearly enjoys being like that
Why do I think he enjoys it?
Maybe it's because people who know they have a problem work on fixing it
Paranoia. Insomnia.
Paranoia. Insomnia.
How can someone who loves you enjoy crushing you in front of an audience?
Most of all how do I love him with all the pain I put up with?