Silent Tears

Silent Tears Chapter Six

"How are you guys going to just leave me like that! What if I hadn't woken up?" I exclaimed the minute I stepped in the car.

The boys all start chuckling.

"We were planning on coming in if you weren't here in ten minutes," Blake explained in between his laughs.

I gave them all a confused glance. "Then what was the point of that?" I asked in an attempt to understand.

They just continued with their giggling, so I just closed the door and Damain started driving.

I gave a starled squeak as my door flew open and in came Blake, Damain, Cory, Adam, and that boy that woke me up in class earlier. I had just been relaxing on my bed thinking through todays events and trying to accept that I would have to get used to going to school everyday abd being around all those people. it was kind of a hard concept to accept and I was having a bit of trouble. Life just didn't seem to be worth it anymore. As each day went by I just became more and more depressed as nothing seemed to be bringing me happiness anymore.

"What the hell!" I yelled.

"We need help with the english homework," Cory rushed to explain as soon as he saw the furious expression on my face.

You just don't mess with a bonding session between a girl and her bed especially while she's having crappy thoughts. You just don't.

"What english homework?" I asked.

"Dude, she was knocked out till after the bell rung," the wake me up dude said.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked the sexy boy wanting to know who the hell he was to be barging in my room like he knows me.

"I'm Chris Magenzie. Your dream man," the arragant prick said.

"Oh, and I'm Emily not freaking intrested. Get the hell out of my room," I replied with an eye roll.

I'm too tired to deal with this ish. Even though he was extremely sexy. Decked in black jeans, a white tee and a black leather jacket with black boots he was pulling off that bad boy look.

"And can the rest of you tell me what the hell is this homework so y'all can also leave me in peace," I continued not wanting to hear the prick's reply.

"Don't be like that babe," Chris said to me coming close and throwing an arm over my shoulder.

I froze the minute his skin made contact with me.

~~~~Flashback~~~~

"Don't be like that, Emmy," Mike whispered in my ears while his hands were around my waist pulling me close to his body.

"You know you love it. Love me," he continued to whisper as he kissed down my neck.

Tears leaked down my checks as his hands trailed lower to my butt and squeezed hard.

"Say you love me too," he softly ordered against my skin.

"I-I lllove you," I said in a broken voice as tears continued to stream down. He didnt even notice as he continued what he was doing.

I felt disgusted as I said those words but I knew what would happen if I didn't. And call me weak but I was tired of the pain. Tired of trying to come up with excuses for the bruises and cuts to my parents.

I hate how they couldn't see it. Couldn't see that there was something wrong with me. How I always seemed to be hurt, how I flinched when any guy including dad got too close, how I dropped all my friends, how I couldn't stand Uncle Mike now when I used to love him. I was now quite, lonely and always afraid. How they couldn't tell something was wrong baffled me.

I continued sobbing softly as Uncle Mike undressed me. Dropping everything to the floor as he planned to rape me once again.

~~~~Flashback over~~~~

"Em, Em," I heard voices call my name.

I snapped back to the present to see myself on the floor crying with Blake, and Damain around me while Adam and Chris stood by the wall looking baffled and confused. Just as Damain was about to say something Cory came in the room with Rose.

"Oh, sweety, are you okay?" Rose questioned as she rubbed my back soothingly while looking at me with sadness and pitty in her warm hazel eyes.

I wiped my tears away and pushed Rose off me.

"I'm fine," I replied in a blank voice hating the look in her eyes.

A look of hurt passed her face and she opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off before she began.

"I said I was fine. We were discussing the english homework before I had a little freak out. I'm fine," I repeated wanting her to leave already.

"Okay, sweety. I'll be in the kitchen if you need something or want to talk," she told me getting the hint before getting up and exiting the room.

"Em-" Cory began before I cut him off.

"So, what's the homework?"

"Em-" Cory tried again but I silenced him with a glare.

"We all have to write a free style poem, whatever the hell that is." Damain intrupted before Cory could ask again.

I gestured for all of them to sit on my bed with their stuff while I explained what a free-style poem was. To be honest, I loved writing and I used to always be writing poetry before the accident so I didn't mind this.

"Ms. Herman said that our poetry had to portray an emotion or emotions ," Chris said as we stormed ideas for poems. I helped them all with their work careful not to get too close.

They were all careful too, including Adam and Chris so I guess they got the 'Dont touch Emily' memo.

After they finished they all left asking me if I wanted to go play video games with them. I declined and they all gathered their stuff.

Just as they were about to leave I spoke up.

"Cory, can I speak to you for a sec?" I asked.

Cory stayed behind while the rest got out my room.

"What did you guys tell Adam and Chris?" I asked hesitantly. I really hoped they didn't tell them my buisness.

"We just told them that you had a rough past and not to touch you because that brings you bad memories. Is that okay?" he asked.

I nodded in relief.

"Thanks."

"No prob," he said with a smile, "anytime. He left my room shutting the door behind him and I flopped on my bed. I didn't feel like writing my poem yet so I decieded to try to get a little nap. I prayed to God before I slept to not give me any nightmares and to let me sleep in peace just for the day. I put my head on the pillow and was immediatly pulled into a restless sleep. I hated closing my eyes at night and being forced to experience all my worst moments but being so damn exhusted all the time was so tiring. I need my sleep. I just hoped that I didn't get any really bad dreams. But ofcource, God seemed to hate me.

I woke up two hours later running to the bathroom. I threw up a little with my parents dead bodies vivid in my mind. It was my worst nightmare... my worst memory. I couldn't help but shake and sob as the guilt buried me. Tears ran in streams down my cheeks as the hate for myself grew and the pain in my chests got worse. I cued into a fetal position on the bathroom tiles and held my body as the hearbreaking sobs broke free. When my eyes finally ran out of water and I was too exhausted to cry I fell asleep in my bathroom hoping in vail not to dream again.

Hmmm...

Good?

I hope so, I actually really like this. I'm trying to capture the pain and never ending guilt. Hope I'm succeeding :p

Can't wait for the next chappy I'll be putting her poem there!!!!

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Till next time, luv ya byatches! <333 ;)