Silent Tears

Silent Tears Chapter Eight

I sat back in my seat putting my head down. When my face was finally covered with my arms is when I let the tears fall. I don't really know why I was crying, I just.. I just felt disappointed. If I was being honest with myself I'll admit I had wanted to read the poem. If I didn't I wouldn't have wrote it, or brought it with me. I could have refused to read it, I could have even walked out of class. Realizing that I wanted to read it allowed me to realize that in a way, I was asking for someone to help me. I put myself out there, letting everybody take a peak at the torment I went through every night, hoping for someone to tell me how to get out. To escape. I was just so tired. Tired of living a crappy life were I was scared even when I was asleep. Where a day didn't go by without me feeling some type of pain. I just wanted to be happy, goddammit!

When the bell rung, I kept my head down till I heard everyone leave. Assured that no one was left, I lifted my head up and wiped away the tears that were still falling down. After I was sure all my tears were gone, I looked around me. Instead of seeing the empty classroom that I had assumed I was in, I saw a red head in my line of sight. There, sitting in front of me with a look of worry on her face was the red head from yesterday, Bonnie.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked me. Her voice was sincerely caring and her expression was soft. Before I knew what I was doing, I was full out crying. That question just hit a nerve in me, and it was like the dam was broken letting all the tears out. She immediately got up and wrapped her arms around me, rubbing soothing circles on my back as I sobbed on her shoulder. She didn't say anything. Just sat there comforting me as I let all the pain out.

"Why did you stay?" I asked her after I was finished crying. My voice was rough and raspy.

"You seemed like you needed someone," she simply told me.

I gave her a look and she continued.

"I used to have this friend. His name was Ron," she told me. I sat waiting for the story that was obviously coming. I felt her squeezing my hands hard and knew this was hard for her. Before I could tell her she didn't have to tell me, she continued.

"Ron, he, he was depressed. He would go days avoiding everyone. He was sad all the time even when he would let out a smile. And he was always saying these little things. Comments that would surprise me with how dark they were. Kind of like your poem," she told me, giving me a wry smile her eyes filled with sadness.

"I didn't think anything of it though, ya know? I would just let the comments slid and passed off his behavior as a bad day or PMS. He died this summer. His sister found him in the bathroom, covered in his blood. He had had cut himself. He wanted to die. She found his suicide note, and-" she stopped talking as she burst into tears. Just like she had with me, I wrapped my arms around her, trying to sooth her pain away.

After her tears finally ran out, our roles reversed as I asked her if she was okay.

"I am, it's just hard, you know? Thinking about all the things I could have done or said that could have let him know that I cared. That he wasn't alone and that I would have- could have been there for him. And all those times when it seemed like he was just crying out for help and I just brushed it off- it just kills me."

Her eyes were filled with so much sadness as memories of her dead friend started playing in her mind. Before I could say something to distract her she continued.

"That's why I dragged you here. I'm doing what I should have done with Ron a couple years back. And I know you don't know me like that but if you ever want to talk about it or need a shoulder to cry on I'm here. Even if you just want to go out and have some fun, I'm here for you."

Toutched by her speech and the fact that she seemed to actually care, I agreed to try to open up to her. After exchanging numbers and declaring each others new friends we both left. As I walked out the room and down the hall, thoughts of my new friend faded as I worried over  how late it has gotten. How the hell am I going to get home now?

Just as I thought this, I walked outside to see Damain and the boys hanging out by the car. My heart wormed at the thought that they waited for me.

"Hey, you okay?" Blake asked when I approached them. The others looked waiting for my answer. I gave them a million dollor smile as I answered.

"Yea, I'm fine, thanks." Then I turned towards Cory.

"I'm really sorry about how I acted today. I was in a bad mood and took it out on you though you didn't deserve it, so sorry."

I held my breath as I waited for his reaction.

"It's okay, we all have those days... So, how did your talk with Bonnie go?" he asked. I was initially surprised they knew where I was, but I guess she told them earlier so they wouldn't worry.

"I think I made a new friend," I simply replied a hint of a smile on my face. We got in the car, me in the passanger seat as usual, Damain driving, and the rest of the boys goofing off in the back. As we drove away, a smile graced my lips for the first time in months.

Maybe things will get better after all.

Sooo, what do you guys think?!?! I'm really excited about this chapter, I just love it. Emily is finally trying to move and it brings an inside look on another characters life...

What do you guys think about Bonnie? She'll be coming up a lot more.

Isn't Cody such a sweetie?

How do you guys feel about the teacher?

Sorry for the latish update, my chapter got deleted so I had to rewrite, however, that seemed to be a miracle in disguise because this one is way better than the original, in my opinion. Also, for those who are reading my other story, Can't Break Me, the update should be in a week :)

Maybe, just maybe, I deserve some votes && comments for this chapter?

Thanks for reading, until next chapter, I Luv Ya <33