Memories wreathed in forgetfulness,
eyes that shed a hundred tears,
unblessed.
A heart that trembles,
weary with pain & toil;
A fading smile drawn in the soil.
O death, what will I become when at the
final stroke of twelve
I'm destined to find you...
... but lose myself?
——————
“ Why are you crying...? ”
Could it truly be?
After sleeping in the freezing embrace of decay & oblivion for decades as an eternal slave to Death's mortifying rule, a small part of who he used to be during his time on earth was still breathing inside of him?
After spending years in the woods of a world that had never seen a single sunrise in its dreadful existence; a world that knew naught of light, law & love, a small part of who he desired to become before darkness had taken him away at his own behest, was still willing to remember what being human felt like?
Was he at last truly mourning the loss of life & innocence? Of his own /humanity/ he once so strongly denied?
“ Pelle… Please talk to me. ”
Your voice filled the air once again, pathetically weak & quiet as his name rolled off your tongue, barely able to reach him before the howling winds violently tore it to shreds. Your fingertips, still resting on his tear-stained cheek as you refused to let go, the fear of him slipping away back into the clutches of eternal darkness surely devouring you from within.
Your other hand, though trembling like a leaf, gently placed against his chest where, if only life hadn't left him, the sound of his beating heart would disturb the silence that reigned his body.
You dare speak to me of love & longing… when no one was even there to save me from myself?
At last his own voice rang out, though not to deliver the response you had hoped for, but to feed the darkness around you & strengthen it devotedly.
Spreading even more venom rather than fighting it - only one of darkness’ various dismal faces.
“ No one knew of the path you had chosen, Pelle… No one saw that your soul was already fading while your body remained until the bitter end.
Not a single one of those who truly loved you was prepared for your final Goodbye…
Some still cease to grasp that you are gone, even after all this time… ”
Somewhere in the far distance yet still close enough to startle you a cry penetrated the night; a cry so inhuman & desperate, its echoes caused the whirling winds to fall into abysmal silence as though they were being aware that something vicious was roaming the lands of the dead.
“ Pelle… Please come back into the light. I want to look into your eyes… ”
With each passing second the darkness seemed more threatening, more intimidating. Out of the corner of your eye you managed to catch a glimpse of bizarre & barely recognizable shapes floating by; they'd immediately vanish upon noticing your worried gazes.
Fear began to tug at your innards, filling you with a terrifying sense of dread. Something was off, now even more than before & you knew for a fact that Pelle's gradually worsening mental condition was to blame.
“ Pelle, you are /not/ safe out here. The light — ”
No one ever came…
“ Please - ”,
you exclaimed much fiercer this time, boldness residing within your frail voice as you grabbed his cold hand in order to pull him back into the light cone that the freezing moon undeviatingly cast upon deadened grounds with the same intensity as before, but it was nothing short of useless. The long deceased vocalist did not budge an inch, let alone listen to your pleas.
No one ever came…
to help me feel alive.
As to amerce another tear soon rolled over your hand, slowly traveling across your skin like a pearl across a smooth marble surface. To your surprise it was oddly warm, the sensation bestowed upon your still relentlessly shaking body nearly soothing if it wasn't for the slowly approaching imminence. If only you were half as strong as you were determined… Yet with every single tear he cried you died yet another cruel death, wondering more & more what devastating sorrow life's short eternity had cursed him with.
“ I'm begging you… Give me the chance to make things right, Pelle. Please, I promise I will fix everything they chose to keep breaking until there was nothing left to break! I will… I will do all this & more if you only let me, Pelle…
PLEASE! ”
The very first scream of utter despair shook this dismal world & it was coming from you, someone who was so dangerously close to falling apart right in front of the only man you ever truly loved that not even his presence was enough to conciliate you any longer. And only mere seconds later you finally came to understand why…
Violating the laws of physics the cone of light behind you suddenly began to expand & widen in size, causing the moon to shine down upon your countenance once more though so bright this time, you had no choice but to close your eyes for a moment. It was then that Pelle's wrist inevitably slipped out of your grasp, leaving you with nothing but the mere memory of his touch's gentleness & before you could even begin to wrap your head around what was going on ‘something’ had already slowly but surely dragged you away from him, literally tossing you back-first into a strange luminous vortex. It was warm, comforting almost, but for some reason you knew that the more time passed, the farther you drifted away from Pelle…
Despite the blinding light you were literally bathing in you opened your eyes, gasping at the sudden change in temperature since it was no longer the freezing cold that tortured you but nearly unbearable heat, melting away the thin layer of ice that had formed on your skin in an instant. Slender digits reached forward as though expecting to find something to hold on to, yet what they found was naught but air & even more emptiness than before; the forest had disappeared & so had the moon above you. And as you inevitably kept descending & your senses kept fading you realized yet another thing. Something much more alarming, much more frightening:
Pelle was no longer there…
A single tear for a thousand others, in dreadful silence shed; rivers of darkest putrefying blood, in search of salvation bled…
YOU ARE READING
Life Eternal
Fanfiction" If you change the past, you do not change the future... You erase it & create a wholly new one instead. " 🥀 [ featuring Per "Dead" Ohlin of the old Mayhem ] ! Trigger Warnings: suicide related themes, depression, mentioning of self-harm.
