Blowing out the clouds of smoke, Kengkla watched as it swirled around the night sky. He gripped the cigarette, contemplating whether to finish it or not. Darting his eyes up to the star-filled sky, he wondered what Techno would've said if he found out he was still smoking despite promising to quit just a few days ago.
He closed his eyes and bit his lip trying to hold back guilt. His hand slipped and caused the cigarette to fall. He watched as it flew down slowly, the flames burning out one by one until there was only a tiny spark.
How long has it been since Techno last left? An hour? Two hours?
Long. Too long. Kengkla couldn't stand it. He needed him to keep sane. After all the hardships he went through to have him, he couldn't stand to be apart in case Techno started to have second thoughts. Because.... why would Techno even be with someone like him?
He went inside his dorm and flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
One.
Two.
Three.
The seconds turned into minutes which turned into hours and it passed slowly. Too slowly.
Kengkla chuckled at himself for sulking and reached lazily for his phone on the nightstand.
Opening his keypad, he started to type Techno's number. He smiled in triumph at knowing his number by heart even though he saved it already. It was a small secret he kept from even Techno.
Ring.
Ring.
"Hello? Kengkla?"
Beaming, Kengkla sat up on his bed," Hey! I miss you. Come home now."
Kengkla heard a sigh on the other line and resorted to begging," P'No, please? I feel really lonely. Come back to me."
Kengkla suddenly heard Techno start to laugh,"Don't be so spoiled. I'll be home in a few hours. Minutes if this meeting goes well."
Kengkla sighed in defeat and whispered his last wishes to Techno before hanging up. Pacing around his room, he started to throw a mini tantrum. He knew if he didn't get rid of this excess feeling gnawing at him, he would lost it.
Cigarette. Comfort. Okay.
He took one out and looked at it. He rolled it around his fingers and played with the lighter on the other hand. Walking out the balcony, he lit the cigarette but didn't puff yet. He stared at it burning and burning.
A few minutes passed and he didn't take a puff yet. The blunt growing smaller and smaller, the sparks coming towards him.
Thinking about Techno, he put the half burnt cigarette in the ashtray so it would continue burning and walked back inside flopping onto the bed. He wondered if he would ever live to see a time where smoking would be considered useless because he had something else waiting for him. He grinned and thought of Techno. Now that's someone who I'd be glad to get high off of, he thought to himself.
Good timing.
He heard a click and," Kengkla? I'm home."
Kengkla got up and was about to head out to the living room when the door opened and in came Techno.
"Hey. I smell smoke."
Kengkla chuckled and pulled Techno toward him. He leaned in and placed his lips onto Techno's gently. He licked it and celebrated its' softness and pinkness, holding great pride in being able to kiss Techno's lips.
Techno pushed away after a while but remained in his embrace," Huh, I taste smoke now."
Kengkla leaned and rested his head on Techno's shoulder," I smoked. Again. Only once."
Techno patted his back, making soothing motions to make him calm," It smells like the smoke was from recently."
Kengkla pulled them towards the bed and brought Techno down with him, forcing him to lay on top of him," Yeah, I lit one earlier. But I didn't smoke it. I thought of you so I let it burn out."
Techno stays quiet and just listens to Kengkla's heartbeat. He knows Kengkla is trying his hard to quit smoking and he would be patient with him.
Snuggling into his lovers chest, Techno smiles," It's fine, I love you regardless. Take your time with this. Thank you for trying as always for me."
They whispered in the dark calming room, hanging onto each other and telling about how their day went. They shared new secrets and talked as though they never talked before.
Little by little, they began to get tired. Techno gently rubbed Kengkla's tired face," Want to hit the hay?"
Kengkla smiles softly and nodded," Yeah but can I tell you something?"
Techno quirked his eyebrow up, motioning him to continue," Techno, it's just that... I feel really lonely these days. Smoking is becoming hard to quit. I just can't cope with the loneliness, especially for the days when you aren't with me."
Techno chuckled and pushed his lips against Kengkla's, pulling apart after a while he said," You're so silly. I'm here with you even if it's not physically. My heart and soul and body and mind and everything is with you. I'm not forcing you to quit and it'll take time but... don't give up.. I support you."
Kengkla placed his head in the crook of Techno's neck and sniffed up the scent.
He saw how it was the same feeling as when he was smoking but instead of it being bad aftertaste, he felt good and jittery.
" Gosh how I wish you didn't have to work. P'No, you know... you don't really have to work."
Techno chuckled," I don't think so. I'm not gonna be a stay at home man with monthly allowances from mommy and daddy."
Kengkla laughed out loud," It's not that bad. All I have to do is some paperwork at home, go to a few meeting every month or so. I'm basically set for life."
Techno kissed Kengkla's forehead and shook his head," That's for you. But as always, thanks for the offer."
Kengkla hummed, hugging his lover tight. He tried getting his scent imprinted so that when Techno left again in the morning, he would think of the smell which would calm him and give reassurance and security. But he knew he wouldn't have to rely on that because at the end of the day, Techno would return.
"You will return everyday right Techno?"
"Yeah. Of course."
And so the two boys, with their eyelids growing heavy, began to snore and doze off. Hands wrapped around each other and the feeling of love and comfort surrounding them.
The still burning cigarette outside produced smoke that swirled in the night sky. Going towards the light, it gave its' last spark and became dead.
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where did all of you come from....
reading my story 😳😳😳
