I believe that when two people are in love with each other you can see it in their eyes. The way they look at each other, the way they stare at each other, it's all there. Their eyes full of admiration, of attraction of undying feelings for each oth...
An unexpected meeting has come up today at noon and I wonder if it's about my date with Chanyeol. Did we get caught with the paparazzi? Did they somehow catch us together? From the bottom of my heart I hope not I actually really like him.
The only way I could possibly date him publicly would be if we got an amazing amount of support... but with the hate that I've been getting I really doubt it.
Having all your privacy out there in the open is tougher than I expected. I'm still not used to all this attention and especially the negative comments and reactions.
I try my hardest I really do but everywhere I go I'm not praised for my hard work all I see is "she's only successful because of BTS" "BTS created her" "she's not even worthy to be namjoon's sister"
It's just amazing what negativity can do to a person. Joon told me to stop reading the comments, that it's unhealthy for me... but how can I stop I need to know what I'm doing wrong. Why do they hate me so much? I try to be an optimist but how can I in our world today?
Loving myself seems harder now.
Jungkook hasn't left my thoughts... I miss him daily. It feels like an emptiness in my chest.. Sometimes I wonder if he feels the same. I'm sure he doesn't, after all it was only one sided love.
Even after going out with Chanyeol I can't forget Jungkook he's like a tattoo inside my head I can't remove. But I wish to...
I go inside the meeting room and greet all of my managers. I sit down and they begin talking about something I thought I'd never hear.
"So on social media fans have been obsessing over you and Jungkook.. they miss you guys posting photos together and speculations are starting to grow about whether or not you guys are no longer friends." One of the managers says.
"We've been doing some thinking and we've come to a decision to give the fans what they want and let you guys collaborate." Another one continues.
At one point I think I stopped listening... is this real or am I dreaming?? I'm so close to getting over everything and moving on but no... I have to face my fear... Jungkook. The person who I can't stop loving.. and who has never loved me back.
However this collab could go in two possible ways.. I'll realize how much of a jerk and asshole he is so I can finally move on and also let the fans enjoy this and hopefully limit the negative comments or fall even more in love with him and get more hate than I did before.
However... I have no choice. This isn't something I can say yes or no to.. because it's already decided.
"So I don't have a choice I have to do this?" I ask just in case.
"Yes we've already prepared everything"
I sign.. I didn't want this to happen. I nod and when the meeting is over I take my bag and head for the exit.
I didn't think this day could be any worse..I was so close to exiting the building, maybe if I was just two seconds faster I wouldn't have seen Jungkook and IU together.. for the first time. They look so good together I can't even be jealous.
She smiles brightly as she's holding his hand. She's even more beautiful in person. I understand why she's always been his ideal type, she's everything I'll never be.
Jungkook keeps a stone face, it feels like he's emotionless inside. I wonder why.
I quickly try to look down and run past them and when I'm outside I look up and see a face I've been wanting to see all day. Chanyeol standing next to his car waiting for me.
I run toward him and give him a tight hug. Maybe I shouldn't have because everyone might see.. but I don't care. I just want to be happy for once. Just this once...
"Please don't leave me." I whisper.
"I won't I promise."
As much as I hate promises this one gave me hope.
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authors note: The chapters that are coming up are umm interesting... stay tuned.
