EMBER

CHAPTER V - Drinks

I bought my first ever flannel for this date. She looked like a person who like guys wearing flannel. I don't know. I just thought that she would be fond of it. Besides, I could use a change of pace. T-shirts and jeans were outdated by the time smartphones broke the market.

The flannel was green, and used. I bought it on an online preloved store. It was formerly worn by a woman but in the description it said that the flannel is unisex. It was a cheap hand-me-down. At least it wasn't a knockoff.

At the time, movie dates are still the first choice for getting to know each other (or so I thought). Maybe I did not have any experience in dating other people. In fact, this was the second person I met since I lost Ember.

Her name is Mari (at least that is what her Tinder profile said). She is kinda cute but who am I to judge other peoples' looks?

We have the same age, and an addiction to Star Wars.

It was at a bus-stop. Evening. Just after noon. I waited for her to arrive. I am starting to sweat in the flannel I just recently purchased.

I turned around as I heard someone calling me. Mari was there, standing oh-so-jolly-ly. She looked so innocent (I was proven wrong).

We head out to watch a movie. Did whatever the normal routine was and apparently we clicked.

---

I woke up in a hotel room. Mari was comfortably tucked by my right. It was a cheap 4-star hotel and we were informed that it is untouchable by the religious police. We had a couple of drinks that night. Not enough to start whatever we did last night but enough to increase our heart-rate. It was fun (at the time).

At hand, I was told that she is a drinker, and that changing partners every other weekend is a preemptive need. I was okay with that information at the time. Regular sex on a daily basis? Sign me up! (I was a fool).

We fooled around during the nights in Kuala Lumpur.  We fought a drunk American during New Year. We slept at a fast-food joint. We tried things we weren't supposed to be trying.

Having Mari around was fun but it costs me a lot.

I remembered when we had a quickie in a public restroom, apparently a foreign worker caught us as we climaxed as the same time. He even recorded our intercourse.

I was told to pay a fee of 300 dollars or else the video would be leaked online. At that age, that threat would be the worse thing to happen. Now that I think about it, I think I would like to see my 6 inch penis scattered around the web (not the time to be narcissistic huh?).

I paid for drinks, hotels, cab rides, movie tickets and meals. I never had any intention to list down everything, but I am pretty sure my actions are justified.

---

It's 8 months since Ember and I broke up.

Mari started binge-drinking again. I told her to keep it under control but nobody has any when you're drunk.

She started going out without my knowledge. Funny, at the time I had no problems with my partner going out with guys. I had a moral code that said 'if she loves you, she would never do it'. Codes are also breakable.

---

I waited for the next bus to arrive. I just got a fresh prescription of Lexapro from the shrink. 2 years since I heard anything from Ember.

The medication was supposed to help dampen the voices. At first, it did but the mind got it's way of getting around things.

I remember getting strapped down because I was struggling with the voices. It was not a pleasant experience.

The voices are a few. I could not describe how they were there, but they somehow were. They keep telling me to pick up a blade, or jump off a building, have a sip of bleach, whatever works to kill me.

These voices were always there. They were just not as loud. I began to notice the sudden change in my head as it was not my voice anymore. It was a different person. A devilish accent, almost like a jester.

The voice came to me, the night Mari got drunk.

---

Mari was missing. She had not picked up her phone in 2 days. The last thing I heard from her was that she was heading to Genting Highlands with some 'friends'. I was not informed that these friends were 3 guys and a girl (Mari).

Even as hours passed, I waited for her. She could have sent a text message. Heck, a smoke signal would have sufficed. But after 48 hours, still no word from her.

Even to this day, I have not set foot in Genting Highlands. I did not know what hell it would break in me.

48 hours passed since Mari went missing. I began to swallow the myth that she might have gone away with some other guys she met but I kept myself optimistic. After all, we did met on Tinder. Everyone there had the credibility to run away if they found someone better.

I did not feel the need to freshen up or go to class. I just stood by the phone looking at the dark LCD screen, hoping that something would electrically lit it.

Still no text.

Neil started to get worried. He asked if I wanted to have dinner. I swallowed whatever pride I had in me, and agreed to his invitation.

---

I ordered the cheapest meal there is (cold rice and an omelette). I had no intention to pamper myself with food. Why the fuck should I? I will puke it out anyway. At least it made Neil shut up, or else I would have to listen to him babble all night.

It was around 3 AM late night. I was on my second box of cigarettes surfing the social media. I was getting adapted into reading other peoples' life (they should not have posted it online).

And suddenly my phone vibrated.

'MARI'

Finally.

I took a closer look at the header of the text. It was not a simple 'hi' or 'I miss you'.

It was a video attachment. I kept my mind straight and thought that that may be some sort of a travelogue video.

So I opened it.

It really was her in the video. With the other three guys. She was trying to say something, but she had penis in her mouth.

And in her vagina.

The other dude was holding the camera.

That is when the voices came to me.

END.