Finding My Way

4

Around eleven that night, Mom makes everyone go to bed, except Josiah, who fell asleep right after Mom forced us to eat dinner. But, I can't sleep. I'm to worried and scared for Dad and Mat. After what seems like hours, I finally drift off to a restless sleep. Nightmares of what could be happening to my brother and father torment me. Every small noise wakes me up. By the time the sun shines through the curtains, I am practically a zombie.

I wake up early the next morning, believing that everything from the previous night had just been a bad dream. Then reality comes crashing back down on me, and I have to drag myself out of bed. By the time I make it downstairs, I can hear voices that are only vaguely familiar. I walk down the hallway towards the living room. In the hallway mirror, I see my blonde hair sticking up in every direction possible. My eyes are red and swollen from the lack of sleep and tears.

I see Mom and Josiah sitting on the front porch talking, I decide not to bother them. Mom is rubbing his back as he hides his face, I can't tell if he is crying or not. With his head hung in his hands, Joe looks way more upset than normal, but not in an angry way, more of a sad way. The early morning March air would be too cold on my bare chest anyway. I slip two pieces of bread in the toaster and pull the blackberry jelly out of the fridge. I sit down at the kitchen bar and hang my head in my hands, trying not to imagine what happened to my family last night. For all I know, they still haven't made it home.

As I rinsed the jelly and bread crumbs off my plate, Joe and Mom came back inside. He instantly stalks up to his room when he sees me, scowling.

"Good morning Bud. Did you sleep well?" She rests her hands on my thin shoulders.

"Good morning. No, I don't think I've ever slept that bad. I couldn't stop thinking about Dad and Mat." I turned to face her, "Where are they, what happened to them?"

She looked at me with confusion, "Honey, you don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

"They came home last night, not long after you went to bed. They came into your room." We sat down on the couch as this all registered in my brain. Mom tries to smooth down my unruly locks, the way she used to do when I was stressed or upset when I was really sick.

"No, I don't remember any of that." How did I forget? I have been beating myself up because it was my fault that they went into the woods in the first place. "Where are they now?"

"They're both asleep. It was a long night. I don't know where they were, they came home, went into your room, then fell asleep. But, we'll figure it out when they wake up, okay?"

I just nod as I stand up. I start up the stairs, wondering where my sisters are. I walk past their room, the door is hanging wide open. Sloan is about to fall out of her bed, but is still fast asleep. Emerson is playing with her toys, and not even trying to stay quiet. As I pass Josiah's door, I slow down a little, still wondering what he and Mom were talking about on the porch. I can normally hear some noise coming from my older brothers room, but now I just hear silence, other than ragged breaths and quiet sobs. I have no idea what is going on in his room, but I know that he'll get mad at me just for standing outside his door. I can't help but think that Josiah is crying because I caused Dad and Mat to disappear last night, but another part of me thinks its because of me, for another reason.

I make it to my room and throw myself onto my bed, hoping to pass time faster I scroll aimlessly through my phone. It doesn't work. I grab a shirt and slip it onto my body as a shiver envelops me. I can hear the dogs playing outside my window. I cross the room and shut the window, not wanting to think about what is in the back woods.

I am still to freaked out to leave the house, even if it's through the front door. Neither one of my sisters are afraid of going outside. Sloan takes the dogs outside for half an hour, then she disappears into her "tree-house," which is just a 2-by-4 that she put in a tree. Emerson plays on the old swing set in the front yard. I only see Josiah once more that morning, but thats because Mom made him come into the mud-room to clean his parrot's cage and feed it. He still ignores me, as he stalks through the house, This shouldn't bother me, he has done the same thing for the past four years, but it does, and I have no idea why.

After an hour of me moping around the house, Mom finally shuts me in the school room with a math book. I can't concentrate well enough to complete the problems that she highlighted for me to do. After twenty minutes of staring in to space, I realize that it's Saturday and I don't have to do school work. I leave my solitary room and sit in the living room with Emerson, and we watch the only movie she enjoys. "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium." I have seen that movie thousands of times, I can quote it word for word, but it distracts me from everything else. At least for an hour and forty minutes.

Dad makes his way into the living room around lunchtime. He is still half asleep and won't tell me what happened last night, he says I have to wait for Mathew to wake up. He finally wakes up two hours later. By three in the afternoon, they are both awake enough to tell me the story of last night.