Steamy Love (Tom Hiddleston x Reader)

Chapter 16: Ashamed

For the next couple days, you and Tom were able to be close whenever you were back at the house. Lots of cuddling, kissing, and time in the bedroom. The spark you two had was brighter than lightning itself. You could feel constant warmth around him, and you both knew some sort of bond was growing, and it wasn't the same as your committed 'friends with benefits' sort of thing that's been going on. You were secretly hoping this would grow into something more...romantic. You had even come up with a little household nickname for him after watching I Saw The Light, which turned into one of your favourite movies. You even downloaded the songs he covered from that movie on to your phone. You were amazed at and admired how talented he really is.

Near the end of the week, however, he started to become a little distant. In between takes, he would take a phone call in his dressing room, occasionally laughing with whoever he was talking to. When he'd leave his room, he had a big smile on his face; and on the weekend he would go out almost all evening. By the time he'd get home, you'd be asleep. He never even told you where he was going, not that he really needed to, but the distance that you could feel growing started to worry you. Was he avoiding you? Did you say or do something on set that possibly upset him? You planned to talk to him tonight after filming, hoping you'd catch him before he'd head out the door for the evening.

After shooting some scenes Monday morning, you and Tom were able to go home early, so you'd get the afternoon with him, at least. You could tell he had planned to go out again, as he didn't hang up his coat in the closet when you two got home. You moved to the kitchen to make dinner for the evening, feeling warm hands wrap around your waist from behind as you reached up to grab a cutting board. Tom's hands found their way on to your hips, getting under your shirt somewhat. As you lowered your hands down with a heavy blush, he leaned down to start kissing the back of your neck, leaning down more to kiss your shoulder. You knew what he was trying to do. You guys have nearly been doing this everyday, but you can never get over how warm his kisses feel, how his touch makes you shudder.

"T-Tom.." You spoke softly to hold back a moan, feeling his hands slowly move up into your shirt, nipping at your ear with a quiet snarl.
"H-Hey, wait-.." You managed to grab his wrists somewhat and bring his hands down. You didn't dislike his touching, but you knew if it continued, you'd be too tired later on to talk to him.
He reluctantly pulled his hands back. "Everything alright?.." He asked, putting his hands in his jean pockets. You let out a little sigh, closing the cupboards and turning to face him.
"I, uh...wanted to talk to you about last weekend.." You admitted, seeing the slight confusion on his face.
"...Alright.." Tom winced slightly, crossing his arms "but what is there to talk about?"
"W-Well.." You didn't like the way he asked that, but you remained relaxed. "I've...You've been going out all night these past couple days, I'm...just wondering where you're going." You spoke, closing your eyes for a moment with a huff after realizing how that sounded, but Tom spoke again before you could rephrase yourself.
"What do you mean? I've just been going out for dinner. It's nice to change things up a bit.." He wore a slight smile, hoping to keep the conversation normal.
"Well, how come you haven't offered for me to come along?" You asked with a slight frown. "Y-You've been...on the phone with someone for most of the day, and then you head out for like the whole night without me."
"I figured since we both agreed to keep our...companionship a secret, it's best not to go out to dinner together. We may be found out that way." Tom admitted.
"So you just go out to dinner all by yourself?" You asked.
Tom didn't give an exact answer to that right away. It was as if he was thinking on how to explain this, wanting to choose his words wisely.
"I don't go out to dinner alone." He finally said.
"Yeah, I figured as much." You huffed. "I assume you're going out to see whoever you've been talking to on the phone all week.."

At this point, you were getting notably upset and annoyed. You were both aggravated with one another. He didn't appreciate the interrogation, and you didn't like the secrecy. This argument is not going to end well. You can feel it. You're just too upset to really try and calm the situation down. We all have moments where our emotions get the best of us. Unfortunately, this is one of those moments.
"What, do you believe I'm off having secret dates without your knowledge?" Tom gave a slight glare, furrowing his eyebrows. "Do you really think I would do that?"
"I-I don't know what you'd do!" You shrugged. "I don't know what goes inside your brain. I don't know you that well."
"You know me well enough to be in my bed every night." Tom shot back. That was a low blow, enough to make you give him an angered expression before turning away.
He immedietly realized how hurtful that sounded.

"Darling, wait--.." Tom frowned, catching you as you tried to leave the kitchen by grabbing your hand somewhat. He didn't tug at your arm or aggressively hold you in the room, but he kept a firm hold to stop you, hoping to turn the argument away somehow. "Y-You're right, alright? I have been having dinner with the person on the phone, but--"
You turned to him, moving your hand away with a glare. "Who? Who is it?" You asked in a serious tone. Normally you speak to him with kindness. With softness. Now, your tone is strong and stern.
"I-It's...the woman I was seeing back at home. The one I told you about on the phone, before we flew here." Tom admitted. "Her name is Amanda.."
You remember him talking about her. She was the one that dumped him because he'd be filming in America.
"Her?" You smiled somewhat sadly. "She dumps you because you're moving, then conveniently ends up in America anyways? Fucking..." You look away for a moment, an uncomfortable chuckle slipping out due to your nerves rising. "Why the hell are you having dinner with her?"
"She was only here for business. She came down for this week." Tom replied. "I only wanted to have one dinner with her, but she's...persistent. She's a very fast talker. I haven't figured out how to let her down easy.."
"Persistent? What does that mean?" You asked. "Has she tried anything?" You were hoping for a quick no, but he hesitated. He fucking hesitated. You saw he was gazing into your eyes, his blue hues looking almost lost. Was he looking for an answer that wouldn't upset you? Was he stalling to come up with a lie?
"She's...leaned in, once, but I denied her immedietly--" Tom spoke.
You didn't even let him finish, feeling your anxiety rise up and your heartbeat quicken in your chest, to the point where you can feel it without thinking about it.
"I can't fucking believe you.." You spoke, trying to leave the kitchen again.
"Darling--" Tom tried to follow you, but you turned around to step up to him somewhat.
"Don't fucking 'Darling' me! Are you kidding me?" You raised your voice. Even though you were shorter than him, he backed away as if you were 10 feet tall.
"You want to avoid being seen with me in public, but you're willing to risk the paparazzi seeing that random woman lean in for a kiss!?" You were nearly yelling. You couldn't comprehend how angry you felt. Even if he was making good points, you were just too angry to listen. "It's almost like you want to hide me!"
"(Y/N)--"
"Don't." You interrupted him as he spoke your name. You weren't sure what either of you would do if this continued as it is, so you stormed out of the kitchen. "Come talk to me when you're not ashamed of me!" You yelled as you entered your old room, slamming the door.

If you weren't so angry, he probably would've been able to explain himself in a way you'd understand, but for now, you just wanted the day to end, to let this rage fade away naturally. You got out of your clothes and straight into your pajamas. You didn't care if it was just the evening. For you, the day was over.
Tom was shocked to see you so upset with him, to ser you so angry in general. No matter how angry you had become, you had a point. He said he doesn't share, even with a clear lust driven relationship, but here he is having dinner and late night walks with another woman. Even if nothing happens, the romantic bit of being alone with Amanda could be considered cheating all on it's own.
Tom figured neither of you would be cooking dinner, so he turned in to his room for the night. Most of your things were in there since you two had basically begun sharing a room. Seeing your clothes in the hamper made him sad. He was sad for what he had done, and what had been said.
Maybe after you've calmed down tomorrow, he'll do something nice to show where his priorities lie. He's willing to prove that he isn't ashamed to be with you.

He's got a plan.