Love Notes

Love Note 6

OK so I didn't promise not to write again and I'm really greatful to all of you who read my self pity letters.

Dear Crush,

Ever since the day I met you, I have been in love with you. The moment I walked into that lab, your face was the one I searched for. Your eyes were like a light that a moth sticks to until it dies. Everytime I walk into a room I look for your figure, your piercing gaze, your smirking lips.

Everytime I caught your gaze my heart stopped, just to be the one you glanced upon for a mere second was a privilege. Everytime you called me 'Mellie' or other nicknames my heart would flutter. Just to have you talk to me was the best experience of all, you made my day by just speaking a small sentence to me.

But, you broke my heart. Your flirty comments, meant in a friendly way, brought my hopes up only to fall. the cracks in my heart have grown to the extent that a bitter sweet pang occurs in my heart everytime I see you.

Your genuine smile was my saving grace. Now it's just a reminder that you will never belong to me, my dreams are the only domains we will ever meet in. my heart will always in some part belong to you as my first love. I will always love you for you, not the pompus arsehole you are with your friends but, the real genuine you, who is sweet, caring, comical, considerate, naive and  my hero.

I can remember that goofy grin you sported in year 9 chemistry, the minute i entered that small classroom your laughing eyes held mine for a split second and my soul felt something it hadn't felt in a long time. I felt 'home'. I was calm and content in just feeling your gaze on me. Little did I know that later on you would ruffle my feathers so much. If i had known this would happen i would have steered clear of that small chemistry lab.

I hope you find the right person for you. I might be a tad prejudice but I don't believe she's the right one for you. I don't think you feel 'home' with her, you put too much effort into her. When you love a person it's natural, you feel as if you are calm for the first time in forever, they make you smile because of the smallest things and they are willing to challenge you when they don't think you are doing the right thing.

I know the girl or boy who will be your 'home' is still out there, and I look forward to you finding this person and you explore how it feels to really love and be loved by the woman of your dreams. Just don't go looking for them. When you look for them you delude yourself that you have found them when its not them.

Love,

Secret Admirer