Hi again. So I have a re-occuruing crush on this guy and it comes and goes but he is sooooooooo cute. So this will be updated very rarely but each update will be truthful and I would prefer no hate comments but if you must you must.
Today you asked me if I had a boyfriend, I blushed and said no. Then you laughed and walked away. My heart felt crushed in that moment. Watching you walk away from me makes my feel like I'm drowning and I can't swim. I wish you would just look at me with love for once.
Whenever you ask me out as a joke it feels like I'm being stabbed by blunt knives over and over again. I wish you would stop, it makes me cry every time.
When I sent out my Happy New Year text to everyone and I got a text from your 'girlfriend' I could barely breath. My world crumbled from around me and my sister says I looked like somebody had just stabbed a dog infront of me.
Just watching you smile makes me smile. When I catch your eye my heart skips a beat. When I look at that scar under your eyebrow, that you got out of a rugby game, I feel butterflies flutter in my stomach, you are gorgeous in anyway.
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When you call me your friend I don't know whether to feel amazing that you still think im worthy of your attention or pain that I am yet again friend zoned. When teachers tell you to sit next to me I have to try and not dance with joy. I'm so happy you have to sit next to me, I know you would never choose to sit next to me but you still make an effort to talk to me.
late at night when we are talking on sc, you make me believe that I am worth trying for and you give me a sense of self worth that no boy has ever given me. It makes me feel so special and wanted. you make me feel needed and not for my advise but for my presence. It makes me wonder what you would do for that one special girl.
It tears at my heart when you say you love me as a joke because it brings my hopes only to be brought back down to earth with a humongous crash.
I don'tknow if I want to see you inlove with another girl. It will be a fantastic sight, you will probably worship the ground she walks on, but you wont have any time for me after. I will miss you more than anything.
