SINS - muke - COMPLETED

17

LUKE

When Michael snapped at me my face fell, and i felt so, annoying. Did I annoy Michael? Was it because I couldnt play the game right? I cant ever do anything right.

I decide I need the bathroom and hold back tears as I walk to it. When I am done, I sit on the ground. I dont know why, but when Im on the floor I feel better. Relaxed.

But I dont, I have a niggling thought in the back of my mind telling me to go to the cupboard that Michael keeps it in.

My world and my thoughts go blank as I walk over, I hear no noise and everything else is blurred out apart from the blade as I fish it out.

Before I know it, blood trickles down my arm. Not an amount that I would pass out, but enough. I breathe out, staring down at it as I slump down to the floor once again. Everything's so quiet, but I take advantage of the peacefulness because soon all that will come from this will be guilt and shame.

I tilt my head and look around the room, stopping at a silent figure by the door. My eyes widened. "Michael," I stuttered.

Oh god, what must he think of me? An attention seeker, an idiot? He probably thinks 'how does that even help?' he must think theres something wrong with me.

My breathing becomes hard and i cant even choke out words. Why is this time different from any of the other times he has caught me? I dont know.

Michael doesnt rush forward, his movements are slow and careful, until he is sat next to me, wrapping an arm around me. "It's alright." He says.

I still cant stop my quick panicky breathing, and on top of that tears spill over from my eyes and I break down. Like the first night he met me.

"I said its alright," He whispers into my ear and kisses my cheek.

"Y-you snapped at me!" I balled.

"Oh Luke I didnt mean it at all!" He panicked. "Shh, I'm sorry okay?"

I hiccuped between cries and nodded shakily. "O-okkay."

He just held me tightly for ages, and I felt better. But dont get me wrong, I'm so shaky and feel so bad right now.

"Im tired," I sighed.

"All we've done is sleep and cuddle on the sofa Luke"

"I know," I said.

There was a pause.

"So, is your head okay? Do you feel drowsy or anything?" Michael spoke, checking my head for lumps.

"No, er, why?"

"I dont know, Ashton said to check for signs of concussion," Michael laughed, and I did too. Fakely, of course.

"Well Im okay," I smiled.

"You can go to sleep if you want, we can clean you up tomorrow."

"Okay." I said, feeling guilty that I had stressed Michael out this way. He brought me to the bed and tucked me in,

All the days here are the same.