Our novel about King Ben and Harry Hook from Disney's Descendants. Written by @benxharryhook on Instagram.
Fluff and smut. Tragic and sweet. Need more description? Come and read it!
Story about Ben Florian. Story about Harry Hook. Story that follows...
A/u: Inspiration from the D3 trailer! But this is what happens when Ben loses it.
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He frightens me. My captor, the Beast, frightens me like I've never felt before.
I've sensed his presence all around me ever since I was cursed. The first night was the worst, for I feared he would control every bit of my body, mind and soul.
It still surprises me that he gave me a chance and told me that it will spare my life if I'd set him totally free sooner or later. I couldn't let that happen at all. I held it down. But with every passing second, fur was slowly covering every inch of my skin. I was growing weaker. Is this what Father went through? Oh God... why am I feeling so enraged?
The trances that occurs now and then leaves me confused. Sometimes I see myself as I am, and the next, I see myself from someone else's point of view. But I look different. It was like a creature. I observed every step it took. Yet, I knew it was me... The dark fur helps him hide in the shadows, as if he is afraid of the sunlight and what it might reveal. His hazel brown eyes peek out at me from the darkness, like a wolf's, glowing in any form of light. And it is only in the candle light that I see the gleam of white razor-sharp fangs peeking out from his mouth as he seethes. I am the monster that I had feared all along.
I stared at him and him, back at me. Our actions were reflected. I reached out and simultaneously, his arm moved the same way as mine. As we both tilted our heads, questions arose with every blink.
But I fear this power that he seems to hold over me. I close my eyes, anxious he will see what I see. But it only brought me back to reality. And usually, I am greeted with the pirate's precious blue eyes. Harry always shook me awake from falling victim of hypnotic voodoos.
Mother said it is harmful to overthink things, but how can I be tamed with all the insecurities that trust and faith offer? Especially falling deeply and helplessly in love with a villain kid!
I can't marry him...
And when Harry tells me that is what he wants after the entire issue, the Beast tugs on my heart, reminding me of what I truly am. I don't want to hurt him. I know not of what my inner demon is capable of. And I do not wish to witness what reckoning it can bring.
And after each refusal, I can see how the pirate hurts more and more. It is torture to see him in such agony. If only he knew how pathetic I am at keeping this Beast under my own control.
I've begun to wonder if my refusal is more to keep him safe, or if it is to keep the Beast happy.
In the past, there were times my brain fries up. It's no excuse I know; I own my behaviour. I try to help, try to be good, and then a trigger is flicked. My emotions turn cold, fearful, anxious... I back away, flee or strike out at someone who loves me. In these moments, I am least proud of who I am, for I fail to be the warrior I was born to be, the strong king with the softness of a saint. Instead, I show the frightened child within, damaged and afraid, the one still hiding in the dark under the blankets, awaiting the next beating.
I know these are things for me to work on, not for others to mitigate, I am all grown-up after all. Yet I ask for consideration, that my fear triggers are left alone until my body stops living in a state of flight or fight, until I find a way back to being calm and steady. I have been stable many years, caring for others, pouring out love without measure, yet never knowing how to ask for it. It is the only medicine that can heal this fractured soul. So like a stupid child I hold out for love, wide eyes and shaking limbs, still looking for that dark place all over again, but praying for the light.
I never should have brought the villain kids here... There will be no trouble, problems or anyone getting hurt. Especially from a broken heart. How will I ever refuse Harry once more? I never should have ever brought them here!
I've seen a bigger goldfish eating at a smaller one. It pecks at the scales until it's kind of naked and vulnerable to infections. That's how the regret is getting me, it's taking a little bit of my defences at a time. It comes in waves, what I should have done or said differently, what I shouldn't have done at all. I can't undo it, but can I make it right. I just don't know. All I can do is try.
And I would imagine how Harry would react to the last refusal... He would stand and leave, his shoulders would slump and I could hear him trying to hold back tears despite his strong and confident demeanour. He would become highly faithless and depressed. He will become darker than death. Forgive and forget? No. He will remember and resent. Harry Hook will be no more. He will be even more devious than the evilest Peter Pan.
I suddenly clutched the bedsheets and wonder what would happen if I answered differently. Would he jump for joy? Or would he shake his head and claim that he can't be loved by one such as I?
It all boils down to my core and what it accepts. The Beast... He does frighten me, but not in any way I have expected.