Blue The Most Human Color

Emotional 2

Not a chapter but i will be happy if you read it.

🚫🚫🚫Warning: This is not a chapter (But it's angst)❌❌❌

Everyone sometimes thinks am i a burden to my friend and family?
Why don't i have a good friend? Why my friends won't last long enough?
Why does no body likes my art/Edits/Writing?(me mostly)

Well i had to let you know... you are not the only one out there having this kind of problem... you need to understand not everyone is like you...

I love boy love comic and fanfic and ect... but where i live these things are known to be hatred... we are known to be hatred... i have not let my other friend know about this... i just let them know i love anime and such...

Which they find it weird... and now at the age of almost 20 i found two people like me... in a very big city after 20 years i found two people who love boy love like me... and that's enough for me...

Look i have had the thought of suicide many times... but every time i was afraid...

'what if my parents get mad?... what if no one actually cares?... what if, if i do this GOD would be mad at me... what then?... what do i do then? The only person who loves me for the real me... who forgives me everytime i beg... who gives me sooo many second chance... would be mad at me... and i can't take it... my life in here is already a hell.... no one wants me in their group... i'm annoying... no one likes anything i do... but then what will be the point of killing myself if the only thing i borrow to everyone is just sorrow and hatred? While all i can do in the world to just ignore the hatred and live for my self and GOD... we are their creators after all... so the number one priority is keeping them happy.'

I always try to make myself feel better by thinking that... you might not be Muslim but just think about it... there is a person... a GOD to be exact that up there watches you... cares for you and is waiting for the right time to bring you back to them...

I'm not saying they will forgive you all the time... but if you do something wrong begging for forgiveness and sworing to never do that again... you'll be forgiven... that's what they told us at least...

Please, please... if you have committed suicide... if you have depression or anything else that brings you down... talk to someone... the one you mostly trust... it'll end up no good for you...  even if that person can't help you... let yourself out of it a few times... read angsty fanfics with happy ending... it'll make you feel better trust me...

If you don't have anyone... i'll be here for you talking to me... we don't know each other any way...

I love all of you no matter what💙💙💙

Also a very unrelated question...

Would you want to see some of my drawings?