Honest Men In Chains(A Zacky Vengeance and Synyster Gates Love Story)

Chapter Nineteen

Cyndy's P.O.V.

I followed Brian out the door. I was not happy at all. He was acting fucking strange it was pissing me off. He was acting like he wanted nothing to do with me. We walked silently till we got to the end of the parking lot near a fence. He leaned of the fence and lit up a cigarette.

"Not going to say anything?" I asked.

"I have nothing to say." He said blowing out smoke.

"Fine. Then just listen I guess." I said annoyed.

He looked at the ground and took another hit.

"So, what's going on between you and I?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Are we together? Or like what?" I asked.

"I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet." He said.

"The tour ends tomorrow. You'll be home facing your wife soon." I say.

"I know that." He said quietly.

"Do you even like me?" I asked.

"Cyndy, you know I love you." He sighed.

"Do you? You're not acting like it!" I exclaimed.

"Oh. You're doubting it now?" He asked.

"Yes I am! You're acting like you want nothing to do with me! Like I did something wrong because I want to talk!" I yelled.

"It's hard to fucking talk about. Am I supposed to be happy at the thought of possibly leaving my wife?" He screamed.

"No! You're supposed to tell me how the fuck you feel and not sit there silent leaving me to guess what you're feeling!" I spat at him.

"I love you and I love her! Sorry, I'm not on board with dumping my wife as soon as I get back!" He yelled.

"No said anything about you leaving your wife! I just want to know what you're thinking about us! Because, if we aren't going anywhere then I'm going back to Florida!" I yelled back.

"What? Until the next tour?" He asked.

"No. Forever." I say.

"Why forever?" He questioned.

"I will not keep coming on tour and being around someone I love who I can't have. It'll fucking kill me and I'm not doing that to myself!" I exclaimed.

"You do have me!" He yelled.

"NOT WHEN YOU'RE FUCKING MARRIED, BRIAN!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THEN, CYNDY?" He yelled.

"Make up you're fucking mind!" I said as I began walking away.

"It's fucking difficult!" He said grabbing my wrist.

"If you truly loved me more than her, you'd fight for me. But, right now you're fighting for her." I say as I yank my wrist away.

"How do I even confront her after what I did?" He asked.

"You be honest." I say.

"It's not that simple." He said.

"I was honest when I told you I loved you. That took everything I had. You can tell you're wife you cheated." I said.

"I don't know if I can." He said.

"That's not my fault." I say.

"It is your fault. You're just as much a part of this as me!" He yelled.

I turned around and threw him against the fence.

"NO! THIS IS NOT MY FAULT AT ALL. IM JUST A MERCH GIRL BEING MYSELF! YOU FALLING 'IN LOVE' WAS YOUR OWB GOD DAMN FAULT!" I screamed in his face.

"So, you really don't believe me when I say I love you." He said.

"I'm really questioning it now. I really thought you were going to fight for us harder than you are. But, what's really sad is I can see why everyone calls you a womanizer. Because, to me. It really feels like you played me." I say as I walked away.

Brian stayed completely silent after I said that. It hurt to say every word. But, they had to be said. It sounded so harsh, but I couldn't hold back anymore. Now, I was more sure than ever tomorrow was my last day as their merch girl. A part of me was fine with it, and another part wanted me dead for even putting my job on the line. I began to not care anymore. I wanted to be home. I wanted things to go back to normal. I had a feeling I couldn't escape this hell if my life depended on it.