whiskey withdrawal

welcome.

welcome to the real world

at 15 years old, i took my first sip of alcohol and never looked back. two years later, i fill my water bottle with vodka and head off to school; it's my daily routine. i spend my weeknights getting wine drunk because the pressure from my parents cuts me to the core. every friday i go out with my friends to the mesa and we cry while the whiskey burns out throats. we scream out for help but no one ever comes. i look forward to saturday nights when i can get dressed up and party till the sun comes up. i let boys use be because it resembles the love i crave from everyone around me. i lost my virginity to a random guy at a random party because i was too drunk to say no. i'm always too drunk to say no. i loved a boy once but he left. now every time i feel any emotion i leave before i can get attached. i wake up every sunday morning wondering what happened the night before. i lay there and wonder if the cycle will ever end. i wait for college to come so i can feel freedom from my town and its people. i wait for the meds to finally work so i can feel better like i did in the beginning. i am seventeen years old and all i can do is wait.

welcome to the real world.