NUDES (REWRITING)

LISA FRANK

Italics - Billie Jean
Bold - Theo

My parents want to meet you.
My Dad said he wants to meet the
guy that threw up in his grandmothers
vase.
Delivered at 10:48 AM

Are you serious lol
Are you sure he doesn't want
to kick my ass?
Delivered at 11:13 AM

He doesn't want to kick your ass,
but my mom does because you dipped
before she got to meet you. She also
made you breakfast which was another
puncture to her heart.
Delivered at 11:17 AM

You missed out she made her secret
French toast recipe. This stuff is like
crack.
Delivered at 11:18 AM

I thought they wouldn't
want to speak to me.
I threw up in the vase
and clogged your toilet.
Delivered at 11:20 AM

My parents are super cool.
Like, super laidback lol.

Thanks btw, it took me almost
a half hour to unclog that toilet.
How's your face btw?
Delivered at 11:23 AM

Rip, fine just a few bruises
and cuts. Ryan hits like
a sissy.
I'm surprised I didn't fuck
my hand up more than
it already is.

I got chewed out by my mom though
she said thanks for
taking care of me.
Delivered at 11:34 AM

SMH. Tell your mom
no problem. I wouldn't have
wanted you to drive drunk
or get a ride with another
drunk person, even if that means
waking me up at three in the
morning.
Delivered at 11:37 AM

I owe you one I guess.
Your wish is my command.
Delivered at 11:39 AM

Dye your hair and eyebrows Neon Pink
and get a green star decal and some
black zebra stripes also.

Lisa Frank the shit out of your
hair.
Delivered at 11:41 AM

Are you serious?
Plz no
Delivered at 11:42 AM

That's my command Theo.
You have to do it or else.
Last time I checked you didn't
clean up your throw up and whatever
was in that toilet. Poor me did.
Delivered at 11:45 AM

Fine. I'll do it,
but you have to go
on a date with me.
Delivered at 11:46 AM

Hmm tempting.
Kinda sounds like a fuckboy
thing.
Delivered at 11:47 AM

What do I have to do
for you to stop calling
me a fuckboy?
Delivered at 11:48 AM

Idk it's fun to say. I'll stop
calling you it if it bothers
you so much.

Btw you don't have to dye
your hair. I was just messing
with you. Plus I don't want your
perfect hair to be messed
up for our date ;)
Delivered at 11:53 AM

Are you excited for this date?
Also relieved I don't
have to do my hair.
Delivered at 11:56 AM

Welp, maybe. It better be
fun.
Delivered at 12:02 AM

Do you like Mac N Cheese?
Delivered at 12:09 AM

Umm yes?? Who doesn't?
Wait is this going to be apart of
the date? Plz don't take me to
Olive Garden or Macaroni Grill
Lol, I hate both of those places.
YIKES
Delivered at 12:16 AM

Date = Cancelled
I can't go on this date with
someone that trashes
Olive Garden
Delivered at 12:19 AM

Your loss babe :)
Delivered at 12:20 AM

Also this dinner at your house
Saturday isn't a date.
Delivered at 12:23 AM

I just realized we're
on a meet the parent
stage. Going a little
fast aren't we??
Delivered at 12:37 AM

I've already met your parents
and you already know why
mine want to meet you.
Pukey McGee is what my
parents are calling you.
Delivered at 12:39 AM

I'm never going
to live this down.
Delivered at 12:45 AM

And you told Thalia
about it -_-
Delivered at 12:47 AM

•

Authors Note: Thank you for all the reads, votes, and comments. I really appreciate it. I love hearing about what you guys hate, like, and would love to see happen.

Do you guys have a favorite character so far?
Thanks for reading, Much love.