𝕀𝕗 𝕓𝕪 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 . - J.Mz & B.Hd

11 - Wasting all of our emotions.

The time had finally come, and it felt as if Joe was presenting his boyfriend to his parent for the first time. He didn't know why that thought made him blush or let his heart skip a beat but it did. Rami always felt like an older brother who took care of Joe, he really cared about Joe.

" So... " Rami trailed of. " Ben right? " He asked knowing the answer but at this point he didn't really know what else to ask. " Yeah. " Ben answered awkwardly and Joe really wanted to die on the spot. " How long do you and Joe know each other? " The boy asked leaning in. ' Kill me, now please. ' Joe said inside his head. " Uhm for about three months? " To be honest, Ben didn't know why Rami was asking him these questions. He just thought he would hangout with Joe. 

" And did you two have s- " Rami began but Joe cut him off by kicking him underneath the table. " Stop asking stupid questions. " Joe murmured to the boy who was now in pain rubbing his shin. " Okay sorry. " Rami apologized. Ben just sat there waiting for the boy to leave, not that he didn't like Rami, he just wanted to be alone with Joe really. Just as Ben had that thought someone else joined them. 

" Oh a new face? " The girl asked as she sat down beside Rami. " Who's the blonde? " She asked. " This is Ben, Joe's- " Rami cut himself off thinking. " What exactly are you of Joe? " It wasn't to be funny or to tease Joe, Rami just really didn't know what kind of relationship the two had. Ben and Joe looked at each other. " Friends? " They both said, shrugging in agreement as they turned their head again to Rami. " Yeah friends. " Ben verified. 

" Well, okay? " Lucy sighed. She was a little bit confused but who can blame her? Even Joe was confused.  " So Ben, how old are you? " Lucy asked and that was the first question of the many questions she asked the boy. Joe and Rami ended up at the counter to ' Order ' something while looking at the pair chatting rather comfortably. " They are having fun I see. " Joe said bitterly. " Why did you have to ask him to come with you?! " Rami asked after slapping Joe's arm. " Sorry to bring my friend with me- " Joe began but Rami cut him off. " A friend who fucks you, can't you tell him to stop interacting with her like that?! " Rami asked as he took the order he got. " I am in no position to control him or stop him from talking with other people. " Joe said as they both walked towards the table again. " You're a pussy. " Rami said before walking ahead and leaving Joe trailing behind.

" Hey! " Lucy said as the two sat down again. " Did you know Ben used to play guitar?! " Rami rolled his eyes at the question and so did Joe. " It isn't that- " Ben started, scratching behind his head. " Oh shut up I always wanted to learn how to play guitar! " Lucy cut him off not hearing Joe say something under his breath. ' Then you'll should take fucking guitar lessons. ' 

" I could learn you how to play if you want? " Ben offered making Joe en Rami snap both their head towards the boy. " What? " They both asked. " Will you? I would love that! " Lucy said happily and that was when Joe stood up. " I forgot that I left my uhm- keys at your place. " Joe didn't even know why he said that, he didn't even know what keys would be at Ben's place. " You didn't have any key- " Joe cut him off. " My keys. At your place. " Joe repeated again and Ben could only knit his eyebrows in confusion but he still stood up. " Well I gotta go then, it was nice meeting you guys. " Ben said and Joe felt as if he was staring longer at Lucy than normally so he just pulled his friend with him. " My keys. " Joe repeated as they both walked out of the cafeteria.

" What was that about? " Ben asked not really knowing why Joe suddenly acted so suspicious and to be honest, Joe didn't know it either. " What? Nothing I just need my k- " Joe started but Ben finished his sentence, " Your keys, I know. " he said in annoyance. Joe felt bad, he never liked it whenever Ben would be annoyed or mad at him. Joe looked down in regret of feeling all of these new things again. He didn't want to feel jealous, he didn't want that feeling. Why would he even be jealous? What reason did he even have to be mad at Lucy for having a conversation with Ben? That's how humans interact, why did he even fucking care? He didn't, he didn't, he didn't. Joe told himself trying to prove an useless point that he knew deep down wasn't the truth.

" Sorry.. " Joe apologized as they walked inside Ben's apartment. Ben had been quiet for the whole time now and Joe could positively say that he was slowly dying. " Yeah okay, where are your ' Keys ' ? " Ben brushed Joe's apology away as he folded his arms. " Well? " Ben asked growing impatient. " There are no keys. " Joe admitted dropping his head down. Ben scoffed bitterly, " So for nothing we came here for you to just find those keys that were so important that we had to leave them? " Ben asked starting to get angry. " Them or Lucy?! " Joe snapped before regretting what he said. " What? " Ben looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. " What are you even saying...(?) " Ben trailed off looking down in frustration. " Nothing. " Joe said not knowing by himself what he was trying to say. He didn't know why he reacted like this, he was really confused. 

After a long silence Joe cleared his throat before speaking up. " I uhm, I'm gonna go.. " Joe said looking at the boy who surprisingly looked up. " Aren't you staying the night? " Ben asked, Joe knew it would only get worse if he would stay. Joe shook his head, letting out a deep sigh. " No, it's okay. I'm tired anyways. " He actually didn't want to be here for any longer he actually regretted even going out today or bringing Ben with him. Ben took his steps slowly forward and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist resting his forehead against Joe's. They both stood there in silence just accepting each other's embrace. Joe didn't know why Ben suddenly did all of this while they just had a fight. After a while Ben let him go and he walked off just leaving Joe with more confusion there in the dark room lightened with one light in the corner. 

When Joe arrived at his own apartment he surely could say he didn't feel that good like he did a couple of weeks ago. He felt empty, as if something wasn't right but he couldn't place it anywhere. He hated him for all of this, he should've stayed inside, never got to that party and he should've never met Ben at all. Joe fell down on his bed facing the ceiling. Three years and nothing at all, and now these four months he got more action than he ever had and he worst part about hating Ben for letting him feel like a hopeless teenager, he was also addicted to him. He wanted to stop but it felt so wrong being mad at him or not talking to him. Joe looked at his phone but saw no notifications, well atleast not from the person he wanted. He threw his phone aside and felt like something was stabbing him more and more.

' Great now you're crying, pussy. ' He said to himself when he felt his tears stream down his face.

okay i think i have an idea for the smut and at first i didn't think if gwil would be in this story but he is gonna be in it. 👀