Eccedentesiast || Larry

29. Loving

H

Dear H,

I've never done this—written a letter to somebody, that is. But I'm doing it now, because, surprisingly, I'm not very good with words. First of all, I'd like to say that how I reacted when you informed me of the party was awful. I shouldn't have left. The thing is, H, I'm so used to being left that leaving was the first thing to pop into my deluded mind. And so I did just that. I'm sorry. God, I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess I'm just scared, you know? You probably don't. You're young and haven't had a chance to deal with anything to make you fearful. Second of all, you should know something about me. It's not horrendous, like I've got four nipples or something (wink wink, sorry, I had to).

Ouch. Harry almost smiles at the joke. He reads on.

But it's... well, only Zayn knows about it. I have to trust you will not share this with the public, yeah? Don't want anybody to think I'm crazy. Okay. The thing is, I'm an eccedentesiast. An eccedentesiast is someone who fakes a smile. You're probably wondering 'what? Louis Tomlinson has to fake a smile?' I know. Me too. But I fake one all the time. It's like, the pressure of Hollywood and the paps and so many people picturing me as this happy go lucky guy who loves his job. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love it, I really do. But... it makes me... sad? Yeah, that's the word. I can't really explain it.

Harry probably shouldn't be smiling at Louis' confession, but he is. He's opening up, and that's all Harry has ever wanted. (Actually, when they first met, all he ever wanted was a damn seflie. How foolish of him.)

So that's that. Oh, also, I love you.

What.

Yeah, I seriously, really love you. I'll let you in on a little secret, okay? I've never been in love before. You're the first. Jesus, I'm 21 and I fell in love with a 16-year-old boy. But I don't regret it. And maybe that's the reason I left. I was scared, as I said before. In conclusion, I am so helplessly, hopelessly in love with you, and if you'll have me, I'll have you.

Sincerely yours, Louis.

Harry feels like laughing and crying and screaming all at once. Louis loves him. And, he loves him back.

Then, there's a few soft taps on his window, as if on cue. With a smile on his face and a thumping in his chest, he opens the window (he doesn't pay any mind to the fact that there could be a serial killer waiting for him. He's in love!).

"H?"

Louis. He's holding a handful of pebbles, probably collected from the neighbors driveway. Harry smiles and Louis smiles in return. As cliche as it is, he has a tree right in front of his window, perfect for climbing. He's never actually needed it for this kind of thing, but it sure is coming in handy when Louis drops said pebbles and starts to ascend up the tree. Harry takes a step back as Louis cautiously shimmies across the top branch that is closest to his window.

"Little help here?" Louis whispers, holding out his hand for Harry to take. He does, pulling him into the room with a soft thump as Louis lands on his bum.

Harry can't stop smiling.

"I feel like a proper teenager," Louis mumbles, dusting off his behind as though he's fallen in dirt.

Louis' eyes travel from Harry's face down to the letter he's still grasping in his big hands. Harry becomes aware of this and sets it on his bedside table.

"I read your letter."

Louis raises an eyebrow, silently asking for Harry to continue. He does.

"It's okay. That you left, I mean. Because you're back now... but, um, I've been a bit of a... mess? Three weeks without you hurt me more than you think. I don't know how you were doing- how are you doing?"

Louis clenches his fists at his sides. "Not good, honestly. Days were tiring. Nights were lonely."

"Right. I know, me too."

Louis looks down in shame. Harry doesn't know when they moved closer to each other, he swears they were three feet away from each other a second ago, and now there's a mere three inches separating them. Harry has so much to say and so little time to say it, but he doesn't want to waste the time he has now.

"But that doesn't change the fact that I love you," Harry says. He feels confident and on top of the world right now. Like he could do and say anything.

Louis' facial expression changes from shameful to smiling and blushing. Blushing? Harry seems to make him blush a lot. Louis licks and bites at his bottom lip.

"I love you," he says again, stepping even closer to Louis and slowly raising his hands up to Louis' cheeks and cupping them.

They kiss. It's slow and delicate, as it only lasts a few seconds before Louis pulls away and rests his forehead against Harry's.

"I love you," Louis finally says aloud for the first time. The words sound like a slow overture; soft and quiet, a piano playing in the background, and the sweet yet dramatic tone of the violin. Okay, wow, since when did words start to sound like anything other than words?

"I love you," Louis says, pecking Harry on the lips. It seems like that's all they can say at the moment. Harry's a giggling mess, covering his mouth with his hand and squeezing his eyes shut. Louis' smiling fondly at the younger boy in front of him.

Louis continues his kissing assault, pressing his lips to Harry's cheek, chin, the crease between his eyebrows, the corners of his eyes, everywhere, all the while mumbling 'love you, love you, love you' with each one. Harry's still laughing.

"Stop laughing, you wonderful twat. I'm trying to be cute."

Harry immediately tries to put on a serious face, but in the end, he can't hold back the ginormous smile that overtakes his face. Louis pulls him in for another kiss, and they're both smiling, which causes for a messy and comical kiss, but they go with it.

"Before I forget-" Louis interrupts Harry with another kiss. "-I'll have you."

Louis kisses him again. He just can't help it (Harry isn't complaining). "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

-

(I didn't know how to end this so here you go. BUT THEY FINALLY SAID I LOVE YOU AND I'M SCREAMING.

i was going to have anne come in the room and catch them frick fracking but that's basically already happened and i ain't about that life. speaking of which, i know ya'll are waiting for some actual sex. that's coming soon, so just be patient. and you have to follow me to read it. sorry. EDIT: no it's not lol sorry, i'll send it to you if you message me but i won't publish it.

QOTC: favorite chapter of this book so far?

AOTC: this one! they finally told each other they loved them, and i've been waiting for that ever since oops! and hi.)

(p.s. you can thank emily for this early update.)